Policy speeches and (empty) promises are passe. Stand-up comedy is in. Ask your friendly neighbourhood neta, who has thrown everything from his mimicry and monoacting skills to his newly stitched khadi kurta into the ring and he'll tell you what poll campaigns are all about. 
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Au00a0new roll: Vatal Nagaraj performs "Urulu Seve"u00a0 at Town Hall as part of his election campaign yesterday to convince women to vote for him pic/Ramesh H S </td></tr></tbody></table>Closer home, if maverick politician Vatal Nagaraj dons khakhi instead of khadi and sells coconuts (his election symbol) at Rs 99 each to grab eyeballs and acres of newsprint, in Gorakpur in eastern UP, Ranjan Yadav, a young hopeful, campaigns astride a corpse carrier and stations his election office in the town's burning ghat. And going by reports in news magazines, Andhra Pradesh CM Y S Rajshekara Reddy went, "kui, kui" on his campaign trail, in a bizarre attempt to remind voters of the emergency relief institute ambulances that he introduced! Masakalis may have been grounded by the CEC in Bellary but the magic shows go on unabated. Trendier vote platforms like the Internet and Short Message Services can't match up to such live performances that come with incentives like free booze, free food and, of course, free entertainment. Arms akimbo, like a victorious boxer, one of the cocky candidates wobbled dangerously in his open-top jeep as his campaign caravan crawled through my potholed neighbourhood, which borders a settlement of house maids, construction workers and auto drivers. Without warning, he jumped off his jeep and crawled into the nearest tin-sheet dwelling, sending the woman inside and three hens flying out in fright. Promising to "regularise" her humble abode, he jumped into a parked auto, started it amidst cheers and revved up, sending clouds of smoke all around, while the woman and her neighbours watched him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. In another part of the city, a former police officer turned politician went on a 'drum-roll'. The man, who prides himself of his fitness, sent his bodyguards into a tizzy when he broke free of their security cordon, grabbed a drum and began beating it enthusiastically as shutterbugs jostled to capture his shenanigans. In an agenda-less election, such theatrics have become the rule, not the exception. Which makes me wonder whether political correspondents are in real danger of turning into theatre critics who focus not on what the netas are saying, but on how they are saying it.

Sachin Aala re!

Policy speeches and (empty) promises are passe. 

Colourful poll-ka dots

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