Going gaga over galangal

Therersquos a gal on both sides and an an in the middle What could it beIt could be a crossword puzzle clue It could be two kinky lasses from Transylvania It could be a bad palindrome Or it could be a spelling mistakeNone of the above Galangal is nothing more than an occasion to fight about especially for tuppenny gourmets who pretend Thai is a great way to fly For example I had a fight with myself about whether it was actually galangal or galingal It got so intense that I nearly gave myself a black eyeldquoYou Dravidian twerprdquo I screamed at myself ldquoItrsquos galangal close to galagal the Bengali word for strong abuserdquoldquoShut uprdquo I roared back at myself ldquoSee any packet of readymade Thai green curry past and you will see it spelt as galingal with an irdquoldquoI always knew you were the type to buy readymade curry pastesrdquo I sniggered having spotted a chink in my armour ldquoFor your information Thais donrsquot call it either galangal or galingal They call itmdashsomething elserdquoldquoHardquo I retortedldquoAnd it doesnrsquot grow in IndiardquoI addedI was silentItrsquos a good time to talk about galangal because Indians now officially top the list of tourists visiting Thailand by numbers just scraping past the Chinese Theyrsquore everywhere sniggering at the locals looking for homemade food checking out massage parlours andmdashlooking for Thai food Mostly Green Curry Chicken if Irsquom honestWhile the male is out scoping the disreputable narrow streets his wife is trying to master Thai cuisine to impress the girls in the knitting club back in Mumbai Here she will encounter galangalShe will be told it is an essential and key ingredient of Thai cooking Galangal and lemongrass are the two irreplaceable additives that make the difference between a quicklyforgotten green curry and an authentic unputdownable Thai green curryHerersquos what my exotic book says about galangal Verbatim ldquoThe flavour is allied to ginger but there is a predominantly pine and citrus scent to itrdquo If yoursquove smelt neither pine nor citrus let me paraphrase it for you galangal smells sexy It tantalises seduces and teases cloaking the entire curry with magicThere was a senior chef once at Hotel President who tried to grow galangal in a special plot behind his 5star hotel making several trips to Bangkok for research He learnt on the very first trip that he had to ask for kha using the downward tone Nothing if not authentic the chef brought back a few tons of soil from Thailand and in it he planted lots of khaldquoSoil makes a big differencerdquo he told me a man of detail to the bitter end ldquoAlso temperature pressure water quality and son We have tried to duplicate Thai conditions in our greenhousesrdquoNeedless to say his experiment was an epic fail You cannot do in India what the Thais do in ThailandBack to the desperate housewife Frantic to procure some real galangal she will go from market to market asking for it and get blank looks No one in Thailand apparently uses galangal She doesnrsquot know about the kha with the downward toneMy complex relationship with galangal started in my kitchen at home in Mumbai when a friend gifted me a plastic jar of readymade Thai Green Curry paste The instructions were so simple a defective schoolboy could have put the dish together Measure 50 gms of curry paste for every 200 gms of meat or vegetables any vegetables Add a couple of glasses of lovely thick fresh creamy coconut milk Let it simmer till the meat is done DoneThat evening everyone praised my proven culinary skills and I modestly dissented ldquoIt is nothingrdquo I murmured ldquoAnyone can do it even you You just have to make the green curry pastemdashrdquoThe second time I threw a green curry party I didnrsquot have the packaged curry paste I would have to make my own I realised with a sinking feeling I knew I could get lemongrass at Naturersquos Basketmdashbut you canrsquot get a good kha in IndiaWhat you canrsquot get you should replace I had no alternative but to cheat and make the green curry paste without galangal While at it I threw out the lemongrass as well in for a penny in for a pound Who would know the difference Whorsquod even care This is India mother of democracy Wersquore the jugad peopleThe best Indian substitute for kha in my opinion is aamadrak the gingerlike root born of a marriage between raw mango and ginger You will get a green curry paste the right shade of emerald green its texture coarsemdashand probably a taste no Thai restaurant would touchBut it will be such a treat anyway that you might not give a hoot Just follow the recipe for Indianised Jugad Green Curry Paste below____Not seeing a recipe Thatrsquos because you havenrsquot written me an email asking for it Donrsquot forget to say pleaseYou can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper