I’ve had gay friends since decades—I believe everyone’s love/sex life is private, hetero or gay. Filmmaker Onir’s memoir I Am Onir, & I Am Gay, written by Onir* with his editor-sister Irene Dhar Malik (Penguin/Viking, R599), is refreshing reading. It offers insights into the life and art of one of India’s few openly gay filmmakers in Hindi cinema. You see how a mainly heterosexual society holds the queer community in a chokehold, yet Onir slips out of it every time, bounces back and keeps doing what he does best—make films. His book would also be cathartic and inspirational for the LGBTQI+ community; as well as for every outsider, without any filmi connections, who wants to break into Bollywood/Hindi cinema, and unapologetically live life on his/her own terms.

Onir (Anirban Dhar) has made over nine films, mostly produced by unwavering friend, producer-actor Sanjay Suri. His films as director include the landmark My Brother…Nikhil (2005), with a gay protagonist, distributed by Yash Raj Films; Sorry Bhai! and I Am. His cast has included Shabana Azmi, Juhi Chawla, Manisha Koirala, Urmila Matondkar, Raveena Tandon, Sanjay Suri, and others. That’s a long way to come for a youngster who grew up in Bhutan. His father, from Sylhet in Bangladesh, who was a Leftist political prisoner there from 1948-1955, initially moved to India, then became a school principal in Bhutan (Onir’s mother grew up in Odisha). Onir studied at Jadavpur University in Kolkata, and did an editing course in Berlin, before moving to Mumbai.