India wants to know

Dear RohitBest of luck for tonight as you take on the Gujarat Titans as your team begins its campaignmdashhope all good as you prepare for one of the weirdest IPLs what with MS Dhoni stepping down as captain of CSK a day from the opening you being ldquosackedrdquo from the MI helmsmanshipmdashwhy we conduct our affairs shrouded in secrecy seeped in speculation Irsquoll never know But I have a singular interest since Irsquom a Bombayite and a Hit Man fan I have to ask ldquoWhy you putting up with all this shit duderdquoOur culture has no place for grace or just basic mannersmdashso in the middle of your fabulous run of leadership at the World Cup we heard about Hardikrsquos wanting to return to MumbaimdashI donrsquot really care about his reasons or why hersquod choose to return to his former franchise and let the Titans down in the process but what piqued my interest okay pissed me off was his clause that he only return as captain which meant yoursquod have to step asideOf course it gobsmacks me that the First Family of Altamount Road should agree to ldquolet you go as leaderrdquomdashyou the winning captain of five titles for them you the sitting skipper you the loyal servant of the Mumbai Indians I mean how did they put it to you ldquoSee Rohit you are blah blah blah we love you but see Hardik blah blah we love him morerdquo Because we still donrsquot have a cogent coherent explanation from the MI spokespeople Coach Mark Boucher tweeted some nonsense about you needing to concentrate on your batting funny the BCCI donrsquot feel that wayMy query is why did you agreeDid you not want to piss off the Antilla Family Do you not want to get confrontational Is there too much ldquodoshrdquo at stakeWhat stopped you from walking out at that moment Any team would have snapped you upmdashI do believe that MI needs you more than you need them but thatrsquos another conversationDhoni and Kohli would have raised the roof at this kind of shoddy behaviourSee my affection for you and your brand of cricket went up earlier this yearFact is when all the ldquoDivasrdquo went AWOLhellip they were of course the ldquoIPLrdquohellip Indian Players on Leavesome preferred to change diapers others were changing ankle dressingsmdasheveryone getting ready for the ldquorealrdquo tournamentYou stood on that burning deck frankly alone patriotism seemed to be sacrificed at the altar of paisamdashbut you stayed put alone pretty much with a bunch of newbiesTo watch you nurture the youngsters vs England was a treatmdashldquoreprimandingrdquo Sarfaraz affectionately throwing your cap down in frustration when Gill was run out encouraging Jaiswal your hugging of Jurel and your general handling of Bumrah plus thanks to the modern system of stump mics picking up stuff your Mumbai ldquobhai bhidurdquo ldquobole tohrdquo comments were LOLworthySo Irsquom asking the MI establishment you donrsquot think Rohit Sharma deserves some modicum of respect You canrsquot even brief your clueless coach on a ldquoparty linerdquomdashas he and the toxic Pandya faced a rampaging media What guys you didnrsquot think that India wants to know ldquoWhatrsquos going onrdquoFinally Rohit Irsquoll say this as you step out into the field today to play under Pandya as he struts around telling people what to do to watch you for six weeks whatrsquos in your head brohellip you always seem so relaxed so laid back so ldquobindaasrdquo so ldquohappy go luckyrdquo I donrsquot know why you donrsquot speak up I guess you have your reasons but either way I will watch you this season just go out and bat with that silken touch and your choicest ldquogaalisrdquo picked up on the stump mic Let those flow with as much ease as your battingRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom