Let them never slip away

It was one of those rare evenings when I walked past the gate of my complex and the day shift security guard was still on duty I returned home early to counter the threat of an already threatening downpour He hesitantly approached me ldquoDutta uncle guzar gayerdquo With that one sentence the already overcast sky had turned all blackDutta uncle was ldquounclerdquo to everyone in our residential complex With his trademark beret cargo shorts and tee the exarmed forces officer stood out for his tall strapping gait but it was his warmth and friendly nature that made us all his fans He was a permanent fixture by the main gate where most of the oldies would hang out We never missed his friendly wave either before we left for the day or if we returned home by sundown which was never in my caseI got to know him better after compulsory outdoor walks became part of my fatherrsquos routine Being reclusive by nature it was Dutta uncle who would make the extra effort to cajole him to join them Slowly but surely lsquoFernandez saabrsquo became part of the old boysrsquo club He was thrilled that he found another beret fan in my father Over time advanced Parkinsonism compounded with multiple hospitalisations meant that my fatherrsquos movements took a hit His walking routine had dried up Uncle would always check on him He lived with his longailing wife but had a remarkable zest for life all beautifully masked of course He had lost one of his two sons His surviving son and daughter were scattered across India and overseas On days when Irsquod be dripping with emotions of having to leave behind an ill parent which would range from guilt to frustration emerging from the inexplicable complexities that sole caretakers face his smiling face or chirpy hello was an instant moodupperWith deteriorating health my father had to be shifted to an assisted living centre and Dutta unclersquos concern was all heart ldquoBeta please convey my wishes he is always in my prayersrdquo A lot was left unsaid with my father since his condition had hampered comprehensible communication I found myself communicating even more with uncle in our comfortable equationWhen the pandemic struck he continued his walking routine often maskless Those were the only occasions when Irsquod scold him to be safe ldquoBut I can barely breatherdquo he would complain adding ldquoThis disease wonrsquot get me I have a solid constitutionrdquo I almost believed himThen around the second wave when he was noticeably absent from his seat I learnt from his friend that he had typhoid We met weeks later He was a pale bent shadow of himself aided by an assistant who he let go of as soon as he could walk with ease The stride was slower and the baritone had taken a beating But the spirit was intact lsquoIt will see him past this phasersquo I told myself I became more invested in his wellbeing after my father had passed ldquoHave a nice dayrdquo hersquod wave out loudly from his chair as Irsquod dash off to work On days when I was not rushed conversation would veer from rants about the pandemic to his favourite films and to my surprise seeking advice on familial matters During one of our chats he asked me if a trip to Nashik to be with his daughter would help since he was feeling boxedin in his homemdasha killer sideeffect of the pandemic that messed with senior folk That was our last hearttoheart chat I encouraged him to make that trip ldquoChange of scene always works unclerdquo A few days later when I noticed that he was still around he told me he had canned plans since he didnrsquot wish to lsquotroublersquo his daughterrsquos family ldquoPareshaan kyun karein Main idhar hi teekh hoon aap sab log hain nardquo he chuckled I would strictly remind him to buzz me if he needed help more so at night since I was likely to be awake thanks to a journalistrsquos skewed body clock hersquod laugh back ldquoGod bless you beta no such problemsrdquoAs recently as two Sundays ago he called to inform that he was experiencing discomfort in his lungs and had returned from a short stint at the hospital ldquoPray for merdquo We spoke later as well and he mentioned an impending scan I promised I would visit him soon after Thatnever happenedThe errands the work the insipid mundane routinesmdashI had allowed all of these lsquoimportantrsquo things packed into my urban existence to come in the way of meeting him that last time He was more friend than uncle a part of a comforting permanency that we all crave for in our madding livesHuman nature is such that we tend to get blinded by the fast pulsating side of things with its splashy headlights And it is in this race that the Dutta uncles of our universes tend to slip through the cracks Donrsquot let this inconspicuous population go unheard and uncared for Make the effort make the minutes count starting today Because there might never be another timehellipmiddayrsquos Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the cityrsquos sights sounds smells and stoneswherever the ink and the inclination takes her She tweets bombayanaSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycom