Lobo Lobo aka Lion Lion

Lobo Lobo my cable operator came over the other day carrying a mediumsized dish antennaldquoDikuna menhelliphirdquo he saidldquoLobo Lobo whatrsquos up I donrsquot need a new satellite dishrdquoldquoItrsquos not for you chhe boss your neighbour Hathiramani needs it Irsquom going up to de terrace to fix de ting I tought I wuld look in and say hi to you menrdquoWith that Lobo Lobo bade a quick goodbye and left my premises My curiosity got the better of me I followed him up to the terraceLobo Lobo was engaged in a volatile conversation on a walkie talkiecumsatellite phoneldquoCome in eh men bugger chopper guy Hey Mr Helicopter pilotrascalhellipdis is Teo Lobouh sorry my Code Name is LIONhelliplion not line You have bhoosa in your ears or wot I am LION LION menhelliproarrrrrrrrlord of the junglehellipgot ithelliphaan Code name LION tell my boss Lion Zinda hairdquoAnd then suddenly Lobo Lobo saw me from the corner of his eyeldquoDikuna men I wish you had not come up uff chhe now Irsquoll have to kill you Just joking ah menrdquoldquoLobo Lobo I thought you were a simple cable operator What is all thisrdquo I enquired quite stunnedLobo Lobo took a deep breath ldquoYou see Dikuna men I lead a double liferdquoldquoDouble life What kind of double liferdquo I asked astonishedldquoOkay might as well tell you de trut You will be de only person who knows ok so keep your gob shut hah See my cable TV technician job is a front menmdashI am also a super spy working undercover Irsquom assigned to many special government task forcesrdquo Lobo Lobo aka Lion announcedldquoWhat are your missions Is it preventing terrorists bomb attacks what does your undercover work entail Lobo Lobordquo I asked fascinated that my friendly cable operator was actually a secret agentldquoDoes your family knowrdquo I probedldquoMy Myrtle has no clue or dat duffer Ronaldo or my daughter Hyacinth Dey tink I have a simple job repairing dish antennas and fixing peoplersquos cables so dey can get Star Sports and Star Sports HDrdquoldquoSo Lobo Lobohellipuh Lion Lionuhhellipwhat is your latest assignmentrdquoldquoSee men de new enemy is de latest version of Covid19hellipyou know dis deadly ting Black Fungus itrsquos like de Thanos in Avengers it has many mutations in China dey are developing a Red Fungus also known as Operation Chicken Lollypop Den my latest mission is to go to Pakistan and gusso into INZI UL HAQrdquoldquoInzi Ul Haq whatrsquos that Isnrsquot that a Pakistani batsmanrdquo I askedldquoNo no men lsquoInzi Ul Haqrsquo stands for lsquoInternational Zindabad United League Headquartersrsquo I have to stop dem making de Green Fungushellipsee de Pakistani bowlers made de cricket ball reverse swing naHere dey are making de Green Fungus dat has a reverse entry It does not enter de body via de nose but comes in trough de toesrdquoldquoBut Lion Lion you have not told me what yoursquore own organisation is calledrdquoldquoSee Dikuna men itrsquos a special cell called SHUT UPhellipSurvellince for Hindustan Under Threat Under PerilrdquoJust then Lobo Lobo received a call a voiced barked at him he stood to attentionldquoYes yes yes immediatelyrdquo he said terrified into the phoneldquoSee you men Dikuna Irsquom going back to meet de Home Ministerrdquo he said to me hurriedlyldquoOh wow yoursquore going to Delhi to meet himrdquoldquoNo men back to Virar to meet my Home Minister Myrtle Shersquos making poke vindaloo today men and I forgot to buy de pokerdquoA helicopter then sent down its ladder and Lobo Lobo aka Lion Lion disappeared into the sunsetRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom