Lobo Lobo and long, long words

Lobo Lobo came over a trifle distraught carrying a suitcaseldquoDikuna men Irsquom fully fed up with this COVID Shovid ting Irsquom bored yahelliphow much longer chherdquoldquoYes Lobo Lobo I agree it is a tad extended this pandemicrdquoldquoWot wot bunkus you tok lsquotad extendedrsquo is an understatement And now dere is a tird wave coming up Wot tird wave meansrdquoldquoIt meanshelliprdquo I beganldquoAlso Irsquom fully confused by all dese big big words everyting diseases medicines have got over ten syllables chhe Why not dey use simple words menrdquoldquoWhat do you mean Lobo Lobordquo I enquiredldquoArre what happened to simple names like Crocin Now itrsquos Fabiflu Favipiravr Den dat udder one whachyoucall men arrey helliphaan lsquoRemdesivirrsquo Remdesivir sounds like a godman who tinks allopathy is all bunkus And dat udder one dat sounds like a Egyptian ruler aaah Tocilzumab Den look at dese diseases every day COVID is creating new new onesmdashdis Mucormycosis damn long men Arre bossie just dis last week dere in de papers dey found a new tongue twister men sumting called lsquoAsperaspergirsquordquoldquoAspergillosisrdquo I said helpfullyldquoYes men Aspergillosis sounds like a blinking pasta Arre my blinking rascal son Ronaldo bugger tinks he is a master chef Indian Jamie Oliver Arrey when he cooks Myrtle and I have to secretly order pizza for ourselves he uses all dese words dese hi fi dishes Concilli Ravioli Fusilli Rigatoni Next hersquoll have Aspergilli Mad it isrdquo Lobo Lobo said muttering to himselfldquoYoursquove heard of a vaccine called lsquoQueueMeinKyunrsquordquo I askedldquoNo men QueueMeinKyunrdquo Lobo Lobo stopped and then the penny droppedldquoAhahaha Dikuna men you are being very much humorous men QueueMeinKyunha ha good joke yoursquove cracked Dikuna men let me aks you yoursquove heard of VaccinoscenerdquoI told him that I hadnrsquotldquoArre men simple Vaccionoscene is going to the vaccine centre waiting three hours for your jab and finally being told that theyrsquove run out of doseshellipso Vaccinoscene Got itrdquo said Lobo Lobo rolling on the floor at his own jokeldquoAnyway tell me Lobo Lobo where are you headed with that suitcaserdquoldquoDikuna men Irsquom planning a visit to the lsquoCentral VistaVisaVirusVaxrsquo Project Yoursquove heard of it nardquoldquoI havenrsquot actually what is itrdquoldquoArrey bossie dis is a giant building wid twenty different roomsmdashin each room dere are separate separate counters for different needs So rooms one to ten dese are all for vaccine shotsmdashfor different ages like two big rooms for babies between six months and one year den tree rooms for 1845 then 5060 of course 60 five rooms for Covaxin five for Covishield den dere are separate rooms for visas Dere is a counter for extradition from UK for Mehul Choksi Nirav Modi and Vijay Mallya dere is a counter for the Sputnik shot dey give you a Russian visa complimentary dere is a room where you get a Twitter account with Toolkits trown in dere is a counter to take your shot for immunity before seeing movie Radhe Dere is also a special counter called UAE 21 to purchase tickets to watch remainder of IPL widin de bio bubblerdquoldquoThatrsquos quite an array of services the Central VistaVisaVirusVax offersrdquoldquoAnd derersquos a last room Dikuna men in dat room dey teach you a special art The room is called The Croc RoomrdquoldquoWow sounds mysterious What do they teach you in The Croc Room Lobo LobordquoldquoThey teach you how to cry with crocodile tearsrdquo Lobo Lobo concludedRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom