<img style="float: left;" src="http://images.mid-day.com/images/images/2024/mar/Rahul-op_e.jpg" alt="Rahul daCunha" width="200" height="69" /><a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/dear-bazball-23338055" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">Lobo Lobo</a> came over, with a bounce in his step, dressed rather nattily.
&ldquo;Uhm, hello Lobo Lobo, you seem very chipper today. Where have you come from?&rdquo;
&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve returned back from dat Jamnagar, <a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/dear-bazball-23338055" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">Dikuna men</a>,&rdquo; he said quite nonchalantly.
&ldquo;You were invited to the Ambani pre-wedding bash?&rdquo; I asked astounded.
&ldquo;Yes Dikuna men.&rdquo;
&ldquo;What is your claim to fame to justify being invited? Every <a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/mumbai-mulga-23335712" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">Bollywood star</a>, every business man, every billionaire including Gates and Zuckerberg... anyone who&rsquo;s anything was there in Jamnagar, and you... how did you pull it off?&rdquo;
&ldquo;I have a side <a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/lobo-lobo-dissappears-23334564" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">bizness men</a>&hellip; I am a wedding photoografer. See, I have a company called &lsquo;Lobo Foto-phat&rsquo;, you get de pun&hellip; I made de phrase &lsquo;fata-phat&rsquo; into &lsquo;Foto-phat; meaning dat I take de photos socko fast... jatpat-like,&rdquo; he said, excitedly.
&ldquo;Got it, Lobo Lobo please continue.&rdquo;
&ldquo;So my partner Quixote Qadros, he&rsquo;s very famous in our side Virar, he and I are food photographers, we got a call, we had to focus on shooting all de buffet dishes, undyoo, de veg peeeza, dey had flown in dat whatchucall from Japan&hellip;sushy! See I have a soft corner for dat dame Rihanna&hellip;so I was shooting de thepla-fafda-dokla and she came up to eat some&hellip;so I tried to take a selfie. She was very kind and agreed, den I tolded her dat I was also a singer dancer, I used to play at weddings men, all dose famous Catlick peepuls weddings... I had a band called Lobotomy.&nbsp;
I had made up two songs for her, one in Hindi and one in English&hellip; See men. Wot dat sardar fallow&hellip; ah, Daaljit Dosa, he was singing all dese songs to all our actresses... to Kareena... Karishma, Kriti&hellip; Kangana. No no not Kangana. Dis is de Hindi one&mdash;&nbsp;
&lsquo;Oye Rihanaa Kya tumara gaana Kha peeke jaana Phir se aana&rsquo;
You see she toh was fully confused wot all I&rsquo;m singing... so I tolded her, here&rsquo;s anudder one, she has dat song na&hellip; come anda my umbrella, you herd it Dikuna men&hellip; come anda my umbrella ella ella... so I made up a song like dat onie.
&ldquo;Camera camera&hellip; come in frent of my cam-era era era You can come in frent of my camera, era, era, eh, eh, eh&hellip; my camer, era, era, eh, eh, eh camera, era, era, eh, eh, eh frent of my camera, era, era, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh-eh.&rdquo;
&ldquo;See men Dikuna, Rihanna took me on stage wid her and she made she dance&rdquo;
&ldquo;So Lobo Lobo why are you swaying your hips while you&rsquo;re talking to me?&rdquo;
&ldquo;You won believe&hellip; after my dance show wid Rihanna, fuss SRK came to me, and he made me dance with him, Bhai, and Aamir&hellip; I cannot tell you how many offers I have received to dance at private parties!&rdquo; Just then Lobo Lobo received a call. After he finished he said&mdash;
&ldquo;Dikuna dat was call from de Ambani office, dey want me to dance for dem for de final wedding&hellip; Taylor Swift is not answering dere calls in Singapore, so, I am being considered along wid Myley Cyrus.&rdquo;
&ldquo;And where is the final Ambani wedding going to be, after all they have to top Jamnagar right? They need to have a much, much bigger location?&rdquo;
&ldquo;See Dikuna men, dey have decided to find a location dat is like de ninth wonder of de world, greater dan de Pyramids, better dan de Great Wall of China.&rdquo;
&ldquo;What is this great architectural, archaeological wonder?&rdquo;
&ldquo;It is de Gokhale Bridge... men&hellip; you see where de Gokhale bridge, dozzeent connect wid de Barfiwalla flyover, so de plan is in July, dey will take over full Andheri&mdash;de bridegroom will be on the lower level... de Gokhale Bridge level... and dat dame de bride Radhika... she will be on top level, Barfiwala flyover, dere is a two-metre gap. and dey will perform dat balcony scene like from Romeo and Juliet&hellip; he will sing to her&hellip; den later, I will be on lower level and Myley Cyrus will be on higher level. Fun will become,&rdquo; Lobo Lobo concluded.
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com
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“You were invited to the Ambani pre-wedding bash?” I asked astounded.

Lobo Lobo and the big bash

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Lobo Lobo and the big bash

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