<img style="float: left;" src="http://images.mid-day.com/images/images/2024/mar/Rahul-op_e.jpg" alt="Rahul Da Cunha" width="200" height="69" />Lobo Lobo stood <a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/india-wants-to-know-23341323" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">outside my house</a>, dressed in a peculiar golden-brown shaded orange collared T-Shirt.
He was leaning against a parked scooter, with a delivery box, that read GO-AN HUNGRY?
&ldquo;Uhm Lobo Lobo, what&rsquo;s the sceene? You&rsquo;re not telling me you&rsquo;re uhm&hellip; no cannot be! You are a <a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/road-to-somewhere-23340253" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">cable TV guy</a>... how can you also be&hellip;,&rdquo; I began, but he interrupted me.
&ldquo;See men Dikuna, what goes of your fadder haah... &nbsp;so I&rsquo;m &lsquo;toda kadka&rsquo;, little broke. Wot I&rsquo;ll do, de cable company I work for, dey made me take voluntary retirment. Dey say I talk too much to de customers&mdash;So I&rsquo;m tinking, how I can make some esstra moolah, wot are my options? I can become a footer coach, den my missus Myrtle, she is a caterer, she said, &lsquo;Eh blinking Theo men... whole day I&rsquo;m cooking cooking and we give money to dat WeFast courier service, why don&rsquo;t you only deliver my food?&rsquo; And so I swunged into akhshin, I have one old trusted <a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/lobo-lobo-and-the-big-bash-23339188" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">Bajaj Scooty</a>, her name is Raquel... named after Raquel Welch&rdquo;
&lsquo;You mean you work for a company like Swiggy or Zomato&hellip;?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Arre no no men, Dikuna. I beginned my own delivery service, called GO-AN HUNGRY? You goddit de pun? <a href="https://www.mid-day.com/news/opinion/article/dear-bazball-23338055" target="_blank" rel="none noopener">Goaaan Hungry</a>&hellip; All all Goanqueeseene, we deliver Myrtle&rsquo;s delicious food, her Poke Vindaloo, Beef Shakuti&hellip; I made dese Tshirts, brown colour to represent all Goan food!&rdquo;
&ldquo;And you serve both veg and non-veg food?&rdquo;
Lobo Lobo guffawed, ironically&mdash; &ldquo;Arry Dikuna, you tink dere are any chances of veg food coming from Myrtle&rsquo;s kitchen&hellip; you may find some potatoes dat go into de Sorpotel! No no only non-veg! But den one day, my dotter, Cinderella, she&rsquo;s a full woch you call dose people who eat all dat roots, and soil and trees and soya meat?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Vegan,&rdquo; I suggested.
&ldquo;Ah yes, Vegan. So she said, &lsquo;Daddy, I&rsquo;m beginning a catering service for vegan food, will you deliver for me?&rsquo; Dikuna men, how to say no to your dotter, so den I had to make new T-shirts&hellip; green coloured ones men!&rdquo;
&ldquo;You changed the colour from brown to green?&rdquo;
&ldquo;No men, I have separate separate T-shirts, brown colour for Goan food and green colour for vegan food, arre obviously men, wot people will tink dey if dey come to know I deliver dis vegan food, dey&rsquo;ll bleddy start boooing me like dey are doing to dat &lsquo;sukdoo&rsquo; fallow wasisname&hellip; aah Harpic Dandya&hellip; no no no, it will hurt my &lsquo;rep&rsquo;!&rdquo; Lobo Lobo said shaking his head.
&ldquo;I&rsquo;m happy for you, Lobo Lobo, to have found a new profession.&rdquo;
&ldquo;Yes, and den suddenly our delivery service has started meking de rounds, getting a good name, udder people have started aksing me to deliver dere food&mdash; &nbsp;
Like my neighbour Taqdeer Aslam, old friend akshully, he&rsquo;s one seven-foot giant of a man, he serves dat Bhendi Bazaar mutton biryani, Nalli Nihari-type khana, he aksed me, &lsquo;Ey maka pao, mera khana bhi deliver karo, na&hellip; snacks item, tangdi kebab tandoori type item..&rsquo;, so den I said to him, &lsquo;Ok Miya&hellip;mai manzoor hai&rsquo;, so I made a new T-shirt, &lsquo;EENA MEENA TIKKA&rsquo; only for Mughlai type khana.
So you&rsquo;re getting my plan, Dikuna men, I change de T-shirt and de slogan for each type of cuisine.
I have one Bengali babu friend, he used to play centre forwards in our Glaxose football team&hellip; he has one cuzzin from his mudders side, Buddadeb Bandopadhaya, so de udder day he aksed me,&rsquo;&rsquo; Hey Lobo Da, seence you are delibering de pood, my seester, haar name ees, Bubbles Bandophadyaya&hellip; she mekes tha bayst Kosha Mangsho and Mastard pheesh..she ees gayting mayny ordars, you bhill daylivaa for haar&hellip;?&rsquo; I agreed.
&ldquo;So what is the slogan you have printed for Bengali food?&rdquo;
&lsquo;&rsquo;CHITTY CHITTY BONG BONG,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;All my delivery boys are riding around Mumbai, wid different different T-shirts and slogans! Solid plan has become!&rdquo; Lobo Lobo, said quite satisfied with himself.
&ldquo;And where you heading now?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Arrey today is Easter men... huge demand men,&rdquo; he said as he revved his Raquel.
And he turned round to reveal the back of his T-shirt which read&mdash;ARE YOU EGG-CITED?
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com
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“Uhm Lobo Lobo, what’s the sceene? You’re not telling me you’re uhm… no cannot be! You are a cable TV guy... how can you also be…,” I began, but he interrupted 

Lobo Lobo, the deliverer of food

INSAF ki dagar pe

“Uhm Lobo Lobo, what’s the sceene? You’re not telling me you’re uhm… no cannot be! You are a cable TV guy... how can you also be…,” I began, but he interrupted me.

Lobo Lobo, the deliverer of food

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Lobo Lobo, the deliverer of food

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