<img style="float: left;" src="http://images.mid-day.com/images/images/2022/mar/Rahul-op_e.jpg" alt="Rahul Da Cunha" width="200" height="69" />I was picking up the newspapers from my front door as Natasha aka Nats, my neighbour was returning home.
&ldquo;Hey Nats, partying late?&rdquo;&nbsp;
I enquired.
&ldquo;Dude, what&rsquo;s with this weird-ass stereotyping, if a YA like me comes home post 3 am, means I&rsquo;ve been socialising,&rdquo; she snapped.
&ldquo;My bad,&rdquo; I hurriedly reassured the teenage tornado.
&ldquo;Newspapers, uncle?&hellip; bit old-fashioned, na? I read my news online,&rdquo; she said with a hint of condescension.
&nbsp;&ldquo;I&rsquo;m still old -school, Natasha&hellip; I like the rustle of paper between my hands, the smell of newsprint.&rdquo;
&ldquo;Cool cool, &lsquo;whateves&rsquo;,&rdquo; she said, as she walked into my home.
&ldquo;Tell me your thoughts of how we&rsquo;re doing, politically, Nats?&rdquo; I asked.
Natasha gave me a distinctly Dirty Harry scowl.
&ldquo;We&rsquo;re going to hell, duh Bruh&mdash;on the one side there&rsquo;s a political party led by two uncles, on the other there&rsquo;s an Opposition party with one aunty who&rsquo;s son and daughter behave like an uncle and aunty.&nbsp;
Aunty and her two kids are well past their expiry date. And no one bells the cat and tells them&mdash;&lsquo;You get whipped in poll after poll, why doesn&rsquo;t the family step back, get a new guy, a make-over, refurbish the set-up!&rsquo; Those peeps redefine &lsquo;nepotism&rsquo;! I wanna tell that dude, your namesake, what an opportunity you have, man, 50 per cent of us are below 25, the average Indian is 27 years old&hellip; you could have us eating out of your hands if you wanted; you should&rsquo;ve been a youth icon by now! Instead you&rsquo;re making a family business into a fiefdom.&rdquo;
Nats made herself an espresso, as she calmed down, her tornado-like demeanour morphing into tepid waters.
&ldquo;Bruh Rahul, I know what you&rsquo;re thinking: &lsquo;This Natasha, privileged and princess-like, doesn&rsquo;t give a shit as long as her life rocks&hellip; she skirts between SoBo bimbo and arm-chair complainer!&rsquo;&rdquo;
&ldquo;That&rsquo;s not what I was thinking, Nats&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;Bruh, look at my predicament. I&rsquo;m faced with dictatorship on the one hand and dynasty on the other. Caught between the devil and deep blue sea. Do you know how unattractive this is to a young person like me? The lack of hope&hellip; the overarching hubris. The great leaders always make you feel like they&rsquo;re talking to one person; our guys are constantly preaching from podiums!&rdquo;
&ldquo;Okay Nats, if you&rsquo;re so unhappy with our bunch, what&rsquo;s your idea of a true leader?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Dude, give me a version of Obama&hellip; suave with swag&hellip; loves rock and roll&hellip; laughs easily&hellip; just a chill dude. And he cares man. I want my leaders to be regular guys not self-serving fascists!
&ldquo;Take Zelensky. He was a stand-up comedian. The way he&rsquo;s hanging in there, with so much dignity&mdash;that New Zealand babe just delivered her first child. How cool is that? These are folks who don&rsquo;t take themselves so seriously, but they give a serious shit about their people&mdash;these peeps are so humble, so inspiring and all our uncles, aunties, grand-daddies, they have no clue how I think. They are so busy making promises that never get fulfilled!&rdquo;
The calm waters had metamorphised back to choppy seas.
&ldquo;And finally you know what depresses me, Rahul bruh, I&rsquo;m stuck with these people&hellip; other countries have a revolving door of First Ladies and Gents, of premiers, prime ministers and presidents. Four years and then boom, they&rsquo;re gone. If you don&rsquo;t like &rsquo;em, no stress, they&rsquo;ll be replaced by someone else. But us, dude, we&rsquo;re stuck&hellip; same faces, year in and year out&hellip; borrrrinnng! You&rsquo;re old Rahul bruh, no offence, but me, I have 50-odd years, minimum, to look at these &lsquo;oldies&rsquo; and their nepotistic narcissism staring out at me in all the news! Grrrrr!&rdquo;
Nats got up to leave.
&ldquo;Have you heard about the IPL beginning next week,&rdquo; I asked
&ldquo;Yeah of course, the India Premier League, duh, dude!&rdquo;
&ldquo;No Nats, the India Political League, featuring four teams &mdash;The Lotus Super Kings (LSK), the Broom Vroom Zoomers (BVZ), the Dynastic Daredevils (DD), and the Didi Didi Dashers (DDD)!&rdquo;
Nats left, a smile on her face.
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com
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`Newspapers, uncle?… bit old-fashioned, na? I read my news online,` she said with a hint of condescension

Natasha aka Nats and the news

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