Natasha aka Nats was blasting Rage Against The Machine on her sound system
Illustration/Uday Mohite
GLOSSARY of terms
1.(Eye roll) to signify:
A. Whateves or whatever
B. You are ‘Daddy Uncool’ pretending to be a cool dude
C. I cannot believe you really said that, bruh!
2. Angstruck—a combo of anger, angst and dumbstruck
Natasha aka Nats was blasting Rage Against The Machine on her sound system.
I thumped on the wall connecting our two homes.
Nats popped her head out of the window.
“Rahul bruh…what’s up?”
“Wanna turn the music down a bit, Natasha please?”
“Thought you loved RATM!”
“I do. Just not at 3.30 am!”
“Oh my bad, Rahul uncle! I didn’t know you had timings for music.” (Eye roll)
“You’re playing ’90s metal!” I observed.
“That’s so ‘obvio’! What’s your point, bruh?”
“Your choice of music is based on your moods. Seattle Grunge means you’re depressed, Amy Winehouse means you’re feeling quirky, Billy Eilish means you want to re-colour your hair, ’90s s metal means
you’re pissed about something.”
“You’re ‘awes’ in your insights. But Natasha is not pissed about something, Natasha is pissed off about everything!” (Nats addressed herself in the third person when she was angry).
“Aryan’s out on bail… aren’t you pleased?”
“Why was he flung into jail in the first place? Based on WhatsApp chats… gimme a break—25 days later who knows what trauma that guy has faced. Why isn’t SRK suing their asses?” (Angstruck)
“Come on Nats… you know the law.”
“Rahul uncle, you’re giving me legal logic... I’m talking intent dude… look at the incredible injustice… they pop the kid into the slammer with no evidence and nothing he can do… nothing his dad can do.”
(Eye roll)
Nats was foaming at the mouth. She paused for breath, but I know she wasn’t done.
“Man, there’s no end to this! Some minister in Madhya Pradesh randomly sues Fab India, another one goes after Fem, the third threatens to take legal action against a fashion designer, the models didn’t
have ‘bindis’ on apparently… and the advertisers have no recourse except to pull the ads off the air! How is that possible… what happened to freedom of expression… this is thuggery… this is a dumbocracy
we live in, bruh!”
“Look, this is the new India, Nats.”
“Dude, why are you defending these people… when a nation’s cricket captain, eulogised as the GOAT… has to deal with his nine-month-old daughter getting rape threats…you have to question the notion of
a nation, right?
When did we become so vicious, so vile, so violent, and finally so vacuous… this voluminous herd instinct.” (Eye roll + Angstruck)
Nats took another deep breath.
“Rahul bruh… what’s the India that Natasha and other young people are growing up in? India’s being ruled by a bunch of uncles... their modus operandi is to control, to chide or to chastise… I’m sick of the
hypocrisy… the hatred.”
Nats was ready for her final assault before dawn.
“If you ask me, we need a climate change conference, right here in India. Not a conference about carbon emissions, or zero waste. But how do we
cleanse the system… rid ourselves of this repressive mindset, man? Are we okay to be ruled by totalitarian tyrants and termite trolls? Rahul bruh... I ask what India are you guys leaving us? What’s the
legacy… tell me… does Natasha at this age, already temper her thinking? Does she rant with moderation? Should she respond to everything with indifference… should she put on her ostrich outfit and stick
her neck in the sand… Rahul bruh,
tell me, or does she accept that India is no country for young people? I’m determined to organise my own COP26 to battle and discuss these issues.”
“What’s COP26 stand for?” I asked, fascinated.
“Come On People (below 26)!” Nats concluded.(Eye roll)
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Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com