Partition: Killer and the shadow

I glimpsed the other side of Indiarsquos Independence in startling images through a book I read last weekmdashMeenakshie Vermarsquos Aftermath An Oral History of Violence Published in 2004 the most intriguing story in Aftermath an ethnographic study of perpetrators and victims of violence is that of a man who began to see a shadow years after he killed a person during the bloody months of the Partition The shadow would appear to him whenever he was alone He failed to banish the shadow from his life What was this shadow all aboutThe clues to the puzzle of the shadow lie in the manrsquos past His name Heera Lal He spent his childhood in Matta village Taxila district now in Pakistan where he grew up in a large extended family His memory of the life in Matta recounted to Verma over several months seemed bereft of communal animosityAs the British prepared to leave India it began to be said in Matta that ldquononMuslims will go to Hindustanrdquo But the Muslim elders assured the nonMuslims that the talk of transfer of population was a passing phenomenon Heera Lal remembered the village maulvi saying ldquoOf late our youth have been influenced by some urban elements who talk about creating a rift among people We have lived in this pind village for generations A few fiery speeches should not affect our love and respect for each otherrdquoSoon a group of Muslims accompanied by some locals came to Matta They said the nonMuslims should either convert to Islam or leave for Hindustan Before they could choose an Army convoy came to the village offering to ferry away those wishing to cross into India On the day of their departure Heera Lal reminisced the Muslims turned up to bid them goodbye There was much hugging and cryingHeera Lal and his family arrived in Rohtak now in Haryana Amidst doing odd jobs he would hang around with Rohtakrsquos boys One day they saw a man dressed as Banias would in those days in a fine dhoti a silk kurta an embroidered cap sporting gold earrings and rings on fingersOne of the boys said ldquoI can bet my life that this person is a Muslim disguised as a Baniardquo How can you be so sure Heera Lal asked ldquoI can smell his fearrdquo the boy riposted He said in case it was proved that the Bania was Muslim would Heera Lal stab him ldquoIt was madness that I agreed to this gamerdquo Heera Lal told VermaThe boys stripped the Bania and found he was circumcised When Heera Lal dithered to stab the man the others jeered him mocking him for not being masculine enough to kill a trait they said was common to all refugees evident from their fleeing Pakistan instead of fighting for their land and propertyEnraged Heera Lal plunged a knife into the Muslimrsquos belly A gush of blood splattered Heera Lal He stabbed the dying Muslim two more times Then he ran to the railway track and jumped into a wagon of a goods train going to DelhiIn the Capital another refugee helped Heera Lal buy a cart of bananas to sell With time he acquired an economic foothold even began to send money to his family in Rohtak but never visited the town When Verma met Heera Lal he was in his seventies had married Pushpa Devi sired four children owned a store and a twobedroom flat both decrepitIt was Pushpa Devi who revealed to Verma about the shadow in her husbandrsquos life They shifted to different localities and switched houses but the shadow did not leave Heera Lal The family said Pushpa Devi encountered many difficulties because of his vaham his delusion The pandits and a shaman they consulted were unanimous in their opinion that the ldquoghost chayardquo lived in his mindWhen Verma asked Heera Lal about the shadow he said ldquoItrsquos only when I am alone I see somebody with a bent head standing in the cornerrdquo he said Somebody It was a person then Heera Lal gradually became reconciled to living with the shadow ldquoIt does not harm me It is there like an irritanthellip So now if I do not see the shadow I wonder where it has gone Now I can say that it bothers me if I do not see itrdquoWas the shadow a projection of his reproachful self Why was the shadowrsquos head always bent Did it signify the Muslim he killed to affirm his masculinity I emailed such questions to Verma She replied ldquoShadows can be perceived and interpreted in multiple ways One of the primary meanings in this context is the reminder of the primal conflict between the Good and the EvilrdquoQuite tellingly Verma concluded ldquoThere are dozens of Heera Lals in the social landscape Some of them repent and seek forgiveness relentlessly from the unseen worldrdquo It might be the case that by living with the shadow born out of his own anguish Heera Lal also learnt to live with the memory of the crime he could not effaceThe writer is a senior journalist and author of Bhima Koregaon Challenging CasteSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper