As the season of celebration and good cheer is already here, this columnist is wondering...

Whether Santa Claus would have to go through a metal detector as he arrives with his bag of goodies to Mumbai.

Which actor is getting how many crores for dancing for ten minutes at a five-star hotel this New Year.u00a0

Whether you knew that in Mukesh Ambani's recent party for Sachin Tendulkar there were dances dedicated to Sachin. Sachin has grace u2013 so there was a dance called grace, Sachin has power u2013 a dance called power, passion u2013 a dance called passion; and whether the cricketer himself squirmed at this absolute deification.

Whether all those who trounce trashy tabloid journalism are following the Tiger Woods scandal everyday with the greatest relish.

Does one mango ask another: have you read George Bernard Shaw's, 'Aams' and the Man?u00a0

Whether the four-legged tigers in the zoos and jungles of the world are also reading about their two-legged namesake and have little option but to roar with laughter at the Tiger jokes.

Whether a Jain scholar who goes to the jungle to meditate and meets Tarzan might tell the comic book hero: 'You Tarzan, and me Jain'.

Whether your Mumbai morning breakfast consists of a slice of bread, with a pat of butter, a hunk of cheese and a traffic jam.

Whether the city's beggars discuss mutual funds and fixed deposits at traffic signals these days.

Whether bank lockers across the city would soon see deposits of, 'tur dal,' given the way dal prices are zooming these days.