Shakun and stirred

And so to the movie thatlsquos got everyonersquos panties in a twistmdash Gehraaiyaan or its other title lsquoGehraaiyaan Fckrsquo 50 per cent of the dialogue has an lsquofrsquorsquo word in it Safe to say this film has got under everyonersquos clothes sorry skinJust throw the question up in the air ldquoHow was Gehraiyaanrdquo and you donrsquot just get a damning response but a dismissive review Itrsquos the film that audiences love to hate and hate to love no one quite knows what to make of it and you know what we do when wersquore flummoxed we gang up against itldquoWhat is this weird pariah in our midstrdquo we ask angrilySome of the comments Irsquove heard1 ldquoThis is a lsquopukersquo filmrdquo So a new genre of cinema is born alongside porn political thrillers popcorn entertainment parallel cinema and psychological dramamdashthe lsquopukersquo film2 ldquoThis is a onetime watchrdquo Like thatrsquos a bad thing Some of my favourite films Irsquove watched only once3 Therersquos the lsquoopposite sides of pornrsquo response Wives say blushing slightlyhellip ldquoWhy must these actors keep taking off their clothesrdquo Husbands redfaced with anger whisper ldquoYaar where was all the sex they promised interval ke baad nothinghellip there was no pornhellip only waves yardquoThis is the bunch who secretly expected 50 Shades of Grey and got only 204 One pseudo intellectual whorsquos never risen out of his armchair told me ldquoIt was like Woody Allen meets Wim Wenders meets Wajdahellip the screenplay was too derived and too lazyrdquoI wanted to tell him ldquoGet out there and make your own feature film dude Irsquom struggling through the first screenplay itrsquos the hardest job in the world second to landing on the moonrdquo but I refrained5 And therersquos the ldquoIt was damn slowrdquo brigade When Hollywood takes its time itrsquos ldquoWow damn intenserdquo when Bollywood does the same itrsquos ldquoDamn boring yardquoGehraaiyaan has struck a chord with peoplemdashdiscordmdasha sense of unease and dissonanceI believe the word is ldquodisruptiverdquo it doesnrsquot allow people to settle into normal viewing comfortGehraiyaan is genreagnostic one that lacks guns gore the glorification of violence ldquogaanardquo and glam no goofiness masquerading as humour gender politics or garbled pontificationFor us Bollywood and Hollywood have distinctly straitjacketed sets of rules in the ways we judgemdashfor us in Bollywood form and formula are intertwined and the moment the lsquoBrsquo world crosses the line into lsquoHrsquo territory the knives are out because then yoursquore forced to assess a Hindi film through an Angrez cinema lens And boy how tough is that We want unbelievably nonsensical premises in a realistic settingmdashlike playschool teachers holding 20 kids hostage demanding to meet the PMBollywood must basically deal in broad strokes you accept subtleties in Hollywood and we are not a subtle nation The moment Bollywood goes lsquoinwardrsquo we go ballistic wersquore confusedhellip our robotic responses go askew The R2D2 in us gets disconnected and wersquore just unable to say ldquoHmmmm interesting filmrdquo What we donrsquot instantly connect with we reject with a collective ldquoHow dare yourdquo No discussion just diss itBoth Shakun Batrarsquos Kapoor amp Sons and lsquoGehraiyaanrsquo tread that fine line mixing a largely western sensibility with the occasional Indian smack inyourfaceHow is Gehraiyaan differentNo one can be indifferent to it thatrsquos howNot bad Mr Batrahellip your screenplay took its time to unfold Deepika Padukone took it deep your DOP gave us a lavish canvas replete with shadows and reflections andIrsquove never heard the cello define a soundtrackLooking forward to possibly two sequelsmdashGehraiyaan 2 Deep Dive and Kapoor amp DaughtersPlus anything else you do that somewhat explores relationships with some ldquogehraiyaanrdquoPromise to give them a ldquotwotime watchrdquoRahul daCunha is an adman theatre directorplaywright photographer and traveller Reach him at rahuldacunhamiddaycom