Solo face of courage

India is said to be home to approximately 100 million single women a significant demographic with influence on multiple aspects of society The singlehood of women has a connection with contemporary family structures inheritance laws social security moral codes law and order gender bias income patterns and career prospects Single women are being increasingly acknowledged as a socialeconomic force not just by lsquoEkalrsquo womenrsquos organisations nationwide but also by public policy experts And yet social scientists point to the scheme benefits that are beyond the grasp of households held together by single womenIn 2018 100odd women from Marathwada and Vidarbha gathered under the umbrella of Punebased Mahila Kisan Adhikaar Manch MAKAAM and descended on Mumbairsquos protest ground Azad Maidan to share their lived realities with the establishmentas single women and as farmers In February this year New Delhi witnessed a threeday consultation on single women spotlighting the need to redefine the idea of a single woman Here scholars urged to extend the term lsquosinglersquo across identitiesdevadasis sex workers transwomen with disability women in religious orders women in hospices refugee women halfwidows in conflictridden locations and widows of suicidestruck farmers The anthology features stories by lawyer Flavia Agnes and Handcrafted textiles entrepreneur Dr Manjula JagatramkaThis made it more than apparent that the diversity of single women in this country is untapped it is captured only in research journals that bother to look beyond the stereotypical notion of the unattached divorced separated or nevermarried urban woman Uma Jainrsquos ldquoDemystifying and Dignifying Singlehood Life Journeys of Single Women Across the Globerdquo and Kalpana Sharmarsquos ldquoSingle by Choice Happily Unmarried Womenrdquo offer varied voices of women who defy societal norms so does ldquoBeing Single in India Stories of Gender Exclusion and Possibilityrdquo by Sarah Lamb Women rights activist Nisha Shiurkarrsquos Ladha Taklekya Streeyancha Parityakta Andolanacha Vedh is a valuable documentation of the movement to mobilize support for deserted women which stems from Babasaheb Ambedkarrsquos efforts dating back to 1927This writer was delighted to come across a new anthology of stories in Hindi which adds newer single womenrsquo voices to the social discourse Mumbaikar Divya Jain 74 who is an awardwinning writer and editor of the erstwhile Hindi magazine Antarang Sangini is behind the anthology titled Khudi Ko Kar Buland Ekal Streeyon ka Zindaginama RK Publication For her this book was part of her coping mechanism Jain has survived the recent loss of a mentally challenged sibling The rigours of editing and publishing she says granted her a sense of purpose The bookrsquos title takes after poet Muhammad Allama Iqbalrsquos quote on selfelevation as a means to selfempowermentThe 13 single women that this anthology profiles hail from distinct cultural backgrounds cities echleons and castes Senior feminist researcher Dr Vibhuti Patel says that the book has unique sociopolitical value more than literary merit ldquoWe live in a country where singlehood is associated with shame embarrassment and failure It has to be kept under wraps So this book is a feat since it has managed to get women have candidly shared their personal choices Their specific circumstances reflect the political realityrdquoEach story presents a different tryst with singlehood ldquoSEWA didirdquo Annapurna Prajapati transports us to the womenrsquos selfhelp groups of Gujarat Theatreperson Meenakshi Thakurrsquos singlehood stems from an unresolved marital conflict and the uncertainties of the entertainment world Twentynineyearold Lata from Ulhasnagar introduces the reader to the universe of domestic workers She is the sole breadwinner in an impoverished broken family with a hypoglycemic minor daughter She takes recourse to egg donation as a means of financial survival The 50yearold Susheela a Jatav caste member raised by penurious parents in Agra is a fierce struggler living with her mentallychallenged adult son Humming folk sings is her escape from the memories of abuse at the hands of a drunk husband Both Lata and Susheela belong to Below Poverty Line households where singledom comes with added social risksSinglehood in the socalled upper class wears a different hue as is evident in the four narratives of women from seemingly privileged backgrounds some of these are unknown faces Seema living a single life for 20 years in Mumbai deals with stress even after exiting a violent marriage She completes her graduation in Indore and enters the city of dreams with her husband who abuses her from the word go When time and children donrsquot improve matters she files for divorce However the story takes an unexpected turn when she is in London with her son As her exhusband falls ill the son insists that she go to India and care for him Seema is aghast by the societal expectations that slot women as eternal caregivers Handcrafted textiles entrepreneur Dr Manjula Jagatramkarsquos choice of singlehood is an eyeopener A Mumbai resident for 40 years she hails from a traditional Kolkatabased Marwari family which openly discriminated against daughters in favour of the male heirProfessionally speaking Jagatramka excelled as the founder of VAITARNA Valueadded Indian Textile And Related Natural Artefacts and travelled all over India as a trainer in the entrepreneurship and marketing of handmade textiles and crafts Unfortunately she was not accepted by her family or allowed to meet her dying father That was the price she paid for choosing a single happy existence in MumbaiWomenrsquos studies scholar Chanda Asani currently based in Tiruchirappalli presents a new dimension to singlehood Her single life has always been about learning new things At the age of 67 she has enrolled for a doctorate on the subject The Role of Panchayat in Localising Gender Equality at the Department of Womenrsquos Studies Bharathidasan University Prior to this Asani was a popular lecturer of womenrsquos studies at Jaipurrsquos IIS University for 10 years Her 2015 ebook on womenrsquos national identity beyond borders received much attention Going by her accomplishments no one can imagine how smoothly she sailed turbulent sea in her formative years after separating from her husband Chanda Asani born as Olibul Dasgupta in a Bengali household in Jabalpur witnessed her motherrsquos suffering at an impressionable age She rebelled against her fatherrsquos patriarchal notions successfully She married at 15 and survived the cultural change with support from her husbandrsquos Sindhi family She walked out of the marriage with her two sons at 23 Asani couldnrsquot return to her maiden home as she had young unmarried sisters She started life anew and opted for her inlawsrsquo home as a refuge with an invitation from her fatherinlaw Eventually she rebuilt her life in Mumbai with her children She did odd jobs to make ends meet Later a confident Asani worked devotedly at the SNDT Womenrsquos University Rural Development Centre She is the recipient of the Neerja Bhanot Award for 2008Singlehood was never a single journey for Asani She built her community along with two familiesthe one she was born into and her husbandrsquos family This gave her the fuel for the journey she opted for Had she continued in an unhappy union she wouldnrsquot have become the scholar she is today just as Flavia Agnes wouldnrsquot have become the lawyeractivistfeminist she is had she not challenged the Christian Marriage Act and asked for divorce on the grounds of cruelty By seeking a new path selfmade Agnes not just brought happiness to herself and her children but inspired other women to not conform out of fearKhudi Ko Kar Buland essentially underscores the healing power of singlehood For the women featured in the anthology singlehood has generated freedom and selfreliance which made them chart their own roadmap Singlehood did not solve all their problems it led to acute loneliness at times But it afforded them a wider untapped community to deal with the unseen future Singlehood also gave them time for themselvesSumedha RaikarMhatre is a culture columnist in search of the subtext You can reach her at sumedharaikarmiddaycom