Recent news reports state that a top China air force commander has gone on record stating that the militarisation of outer space is inevitable. As if all that killing on earth was not enough, nations would now rush to have weapons in space. On a flippant note this columnist is wondering... Whether Mumbaikars (or Bangaloreans for that matter) would take all their earthly problems into outer space and a political outfit called Space Navnirman Sena (SNS) led by a Mr Spaceray would mushroom there. Whether real estate prices on the moon would equal Mumbai's prices and the moon divided into South Moon and North Moon. The South Moon residents would be termed South Moonbai Snobs. And back to earth whether Hillary Clinton sings to her husband Bill, Bill, pyaar, vyaar mein kya jaanu re? Whether a stud mobile phone likes to seduce nubile mobiles. Whether a cigarette does lunges in the gym everyday to get a 'sexy butt'. Whether a modern day Shakespeare who plays chess well would be known as the Board of Avon. Whether one elephant asks another, "Hey, do we need our swim 'trunks' or can we go skinny dipping here?" Whether one kanda bhajiya (Onion bajji) sings a love song to a potato bhajiya bha-jiya o bha-jiya o bha-jiya kuch bol dou2026dil ka purdah khol do. Whether a book ever goes through a middle (p)age crisis. Whether we realise that the only kind of mill that is flourishing in the city today is the treadmill. Whether cars too would go on a diet one day telling their owners don't fill up the petrol tank we have to go low on car-bohydrates. Whether ordinary mortals would one day have to break their Fixed Deposits (FDs) to pay for a kilo of tur daal. Whether the beggars at the Mumbai signal would one day be overheard discussing how they invested in gold bars. Whether a slice of bread would tell another in a packet: You are such a loaf-er. Whether one lottery ticket says to the other; love is a gamble, why don't you pick me up and try your luck? u00a0Why insects known as crickets do not sue the Board for Control of Cricket in India (BCCI) for ignoring them in the insect world and only concentrating on the game. Why are you reading this tripe, anyway? Hemal Ashar is Assistant Editor with MiD DAY

The travelling bugs - Kerala's nightmare

Recent news reports state that a top China air force commander has gone on record stating that the militarisation of outer space is inevitable

Space musings Mumbai style...

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