A little over a year ago, I found myself on a plane flying into Delhi, looking out of a window that revealed nothing. I assumed it was fog, given that North India has a better idea of what winter means than Bombayites do, but the man sitting beside me said it was pollution and smog. He said they were used to it by now, and asked me to check out the Air Quality Index before stepping out of my hotel room. Naturally, I did nothing of the sort because I’m pretty sure this AQI thing has been thought up by doomsday activists trying to suck the joy out of our lives.

I have never been to Delhi in winter and have no idea if this is a regular thing. I do know that this time of year brings all kinds of cynics out of the woodwork though, all pretending to care about our health and trying to make our lives better. They tend to crop up during most festivals, begging us to stop setting off fireworks, or asking us to think of the impact on the lungs and hearts of our children, or warning us about respiratory ailments that may or may not even exist. They talk about air and water pollution, and even noise pollution, which is laughable. I find the whole thing ridiculous.