Anita Nair the bestselling author of The Better Man, Ladies Coupe and Mistress talks about an important resolution that often escapes common thought 
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What about the helper himself? We talk of kindness to others, but overlook the selfu00a0 Pic/Rajeev Tyagi</td></tr></tbody></table>This was one of those years where I had decided not to make a resolution of any sort. In my youthful days, as old Father William would have had it, by early December much time would be spent drawing up extravagant lists of resolutions. Rather like the beauty queens' plans for the world, it ranged from working for world peace to eradicating poverty to saving the tigers. As the year would draw to an end, the list would be trimmed till it hovered between what was desirable and what was doable. Very often even the doable remained undone by even as early as mid-March. Some weeks ago at a Sunday brunch, the neighbourhood ladies and I were discussing New Year resolutions. Perhaps it was the combination of wine, the blue skies and the fragrance of newly mown grass and the thought of not having to cook Sunday lunch, but I decided to throw caution to the winds and advocated BK2Y. "Ladies, stretch that to Be Kind to Yourself, this is the resolution that every woman ought to make," I purred. I was perched high on my soapbox and I had a captive audience who seemed to buy into that notion. BK2Y it would be, we promised ourselves for 2009. One of the ladies seconded it with a vociferousu00a0we women put everyone else first and forget ourselves in the bargain. It is time we did something like this. I grinned like a Cheshire cat. There is a particular satisfaction in swinging a crowd. Which probably explains the permanent beatific expression on the faces of godmen and godwomen. Power! Nothing like power to iron the wrinkles out andu00a0 BK2Y was all about empowerment. Now the only problem with BK2Y is that it involves a certain amount of building up resentments. For real and imagined hurts. Before you pounce on the last puri on the platter, you have to tell yourself that your spouse is a lazy lump who can very well go without that last sumptuous morsel. Remember the time he ate an entire pizza up! Before you dock your son's pocket money for missing the school bus yet again, you need to tell yourself that his unpunctuality necessitated the use of the car and hence caused you to reach an appointment late. And you had to apologise for no fault of your own. Before you flatly deny the driver's nth request for yet another day off, you need to tell yourself that your day out with friends was far more important than his day out with his friends.... I discovered that I was constantly justifying my actions to myself. Someone who had to work myself into a rage to enjoy a few moments of niceness. But the worst part was the niggling thought that while I was finally becoming tough, unwilling to take any nonsense, a stance such as this required considerable effort...In the end, I have decided to give up BK2Y as well. The line of least resistance may not be great for empowerment but at least it wasn't such hard work.

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Anita Nair the bestselling author of The Better Man, Ladies Coupe and Mistress talks about an important resolution that often escapes common thought

The Be Kind To Yourself thought

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The Be Kind To Yourself thought

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