The lives of wives

Season One of The Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives bored me because Irsquove never been into the sobaditsgood thingI found Season Two riveting thanks to its magnificent artifice Seema Sajdehrsquos desire for a ldquocauserdquo to help the planet Neelamrsquos prudishness Maheeprsquos accent Bhavanarsquos businesses all are played out by the women with delight and selfawareness They are not just in on the joke mdashthey are making the joke This means we the audience often not always laugh with them instead of only at them The subjects act as themselves with entertaining exaggeration Yaniki Bollywood Wives has flamboyantly embraced its identity as a drag showSuch artifice reveals truths in its own way The women claim to be in their forties This seems so ridiculous that it makes the idea of ldquoreal agerdquo irrelevant How does it matter how old they really are They perform boldness by talking menopause and filming cosmetological treatments featuring needles golden blood and face yoga In itself this is overdone and banal But it does foreground the tremendous anxiety about ageingmdashan anxiety many women feel in a culture where older women are made visible only if they look and act youthful Because these concerns are presented without moralisingmdasheither as justification or as critiquemdashthey help us understand this anxiety We may or may not empathise but we donrsquot simply judgeThe show deals with marriage interestingly Seema no longer vague about being divorced is refreshingly candid in her search for romance She meets Sima Taparia who is the campiest of them all mirror a setup used to mildly diss matrimonial conservativeness Maheep Kapoor mentions an infidelity of Sanjay Kapoorrsquos that made her leave She returned she says for the children and they have made things work Itrsquos an adult conversation rare in our public culture discussing the messy truths of marriage Perhaps the most interesting tension arises from the airing of grievances between Seema and Neelam Seema feels that Neelam once her bestie dumped her after marriage Neelam contends that she had to prioritise her family Seema scoffs ldquowe can prioritise bothrdquo giving friendship an important status Yet implicit in Neelamrsquos response is that marriage came after many hurts and she was anxious about making it work Her husband trivialises the fight He views dumping as a concept that only applies to heterosexual coupledom The entire chapter reveals the way marriage narrows the definitions of intimacymdashespecially for women A frivolous show about wives germinates the serious question in our minds what does it mean to be called a wifeAfter all why are these women and Gauri Khan much obeisance is paid to her in the show ldquoBollywood wivesrdquo and not Deepika Padukone or Kareena Kapoor People criticise the show for being about rich people but that is its most telling element Because sometimes for richness to exist some women have to be ldquojust wivesrdquo The women in the show may be centre stage but they are also a ldquosupportiverdquo vehicle to promote various Bollywood properties and star kids who feature in these propertiesmdashBollywoodrsquos Wife anyone What is more revealing than that Bhavana Pandeymdashwife of a famous husband mother of a famous daughtermdashcan claim importance only through a wedding a renewal of vows Her wedding is the day the wife gets to play the heroinersquos role Isnrsquot that the patriarchyrsquos sweetesttrap honeyParomita Vohra is an awardwinning Mumbaibased filmmaker writer and curator working with fiction and nonfiction Reach her at paromitavohramiddaycom