The renunciation of perfectionism
Updated On: 17 October, 2025 10:24 AM IST | Mumbai | Rosalyn D`mello
Realising that it is our flaws that make us so preciously human, I have promised myself to truly embrace failure with the comforting knowledge that it didn’t impact my sense of self-worth
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Cacio e pepe, a pasta dish that contains sheep milk cheese and pepper. Pic/istock
Having grated the pecorino — more than enough for two portions — I waited for the starchy water I had drawn out from the boiling pasta to cool. Then, as I saw the Italian chef I follow on TikTok doing, I gradually ladled in a little at a time, using a fork to mix the grated sheep milk cheese until it was creamy. Precisely then, my partner returned with our youngest. I should have followed the chef’s instructions — drain and add the pasta into a bowl with the pecorino. Instead, flustered by the impatient whining of our hungry six-month-old as well as my own hunger levels, I ended up adding some starchy water to the pan I had used to roast the peppercorns to enhance their fragrance when powdered. I didn’t account for residual heat from the pan’s surface, combined with the temperature of the starchy water I added alongside the drained pasta. I added the pecorino cream to the pasta instead of the other way around. The sauce turned soupy, and the cheese achieved the consistency of mozzarella. Yet again, I managed to ruin the cacio e pepe.
I felt devastated. It takes time to grate pecorino — a hardier cheese than parmesan. What a waste, I thought, as I was forced to eat this soggy drudge, which I also served my partner, because it was too late to cook anything else. I had been defeated once again by the combined pressures of home office and parenting. I couldn’t mask the feeling of shame as I apologised to my partner for this blunder. He was, as always, extremely kind. ‘We’re still eating it,’ he said. ‘Not enthusiastically,’ I said, wishing I could use the pretend time machine I sometimes use when our toddler wishes he could have done something independently that we may have mistakenly done for him instead. Unsatisfied with my meal, I fried an egg along with bacon and heated up the rattlesnake beans I had made the day before, braised in a lemon and garlic sauce. I then had a salad with avocado, orange date tomatoes, pine nuts, and crisp salad leaves with a classic Italian dressing of olive oil, balsamic, pepper, and salt.
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