The subtle art of signspotting

People find many things odd about me such as my lifelong habit of snorting at inconvenient moments The quirkiest thing about me however is that I effortlessly remember the birth signs of people I met fleetingly some of whose names I never found outFor example a person I met just a couple of times 50 years ago at the Delhi IIT found my column and emailed me a hello a few months ago from London The only thing I could recall was that he was a LeoTo be clear I donrsquot believe all people born under a particular sign are identical Making a personrsquos birth chart shows me the exact oppositemdashhow they are unique and unrepeatable But just as all cars share certain featuresmdashfour wheels a front and a back a steering wheel gears and so onmdashbirth signs too have broad streaks of similarities that donrsquot diminish the differences Itrsquos like sniffing a new fragrance You can quickly decide if it is citrusy woody smoky spicy and so onmdashthe main characteristicsmdashbut guessing the specific notes is another game altogether Was that vanilla CedarwoodPatchouli BergamotMy personal lsquosciencersquo of guessing someonersquos birth sign includes their body type face shape how they look when they think no onersquos watching what they say and donrsquot say and even how they relate to me Here is mypersonal howto guideAries Intense selfinterest especially when I try to guess their birth sign Also warm affable and relaxed if a tad impatient Older ones might be interested in herbal medicine or things like palmistry and oddball psychology Females are warmer than males but equally drivenTaurus The quiet fellow and the chatty filly She loves talking about astrology the tarot and other mystical things Taurus men appear stolid and the women are gregarious busybodies Under the surface both have plodding patient minds that understand the value of time and slow cooking Taurus women can be sharptongued gossips An additional clue is therersquos a sense of chemistry with meGemini Irsquom one and grateful that Irsquom not typical Theyrsquore generally slender physically clever and impossible to trust They could show up late for their own wedding Theyrsquore master storytellers and can prove opposing points with the same set of facts Gemini women warm at first sight can be withdrawn and aloof under the surfaceCancer Males will be taciturn and acerbic looking thickskinned but quick to take offence Females will be either overly flirty and touchyfeely or guarded and easily vulnerable Often they have heartshaped faces and an early tendency to gain weight Both sexes can be touchy possessive and clingy in close relationships When a quietish person opens up to me thatrsquos usually CancerLeo Irsquoll be honest This is not a sign I have been very good at guessing I just havenrsquot found any generally typical traitsmdashexcept perhaps their hair Like real lions many Leos seem to have a mane or at least be hairconsciousVirgo The biggest giveaway is an easy rapport with me and a sense that they find me or my personality interesting At first meeting theyrsquore the ones splitting hairs about trivia Both genders are ineffably easy on the eyesLibra Bad Librans male and female are fiendish but the best Libran males are principled driven and admired by all who know them Their loved ones accept their oddball traitsmdashthink Gandhirsquos notorious penchant for having young women sleep by his side to test his restraint Libran females are delightful intelligent and experts at making you believe you thought of that clever idea firstScorpio Females radiate warmth and generosity and will want to know everything without giving much away about themselves Males are usually either quiet and intense or the highenergy life and soul of the party Sarcasm is a dead giveaway Itrsquos a clue for me if I find myself wanting to meet them againSagittarius Secret hippies Thatrsquos how I sniff them out They believe everything belongs to everyone They are lifelong nomads and lone wolves with a strong intuition and like to talk in riddles Sagi men are charmers while Sagi women trust the wrong men too easily stumbling from one bad choice to anotherCapricorn Deep selfinterest as with Aries but often without the warmth though they are socially gracious and charming Capricorns usually become quite interested in what I do resulting in many guruchela conversations Usually workaholics unable to balance life and workAquarius A goodlooking sign Males always seem vaguely French with pleasant faces and easygoing temperaments I try to imagine what he would do if someone suddenly called his mother a slutmdashcalmly discuss or punch first and discuss later If the latter I go with Aquarius Females are usually gorgeous pigheaded and in my experience insecure if they canrsquot control people and events in their lifePisces Pisces females are generally compassionate and superintuitive but the warmth can turn cool on a dime Both genders are excellent at looking the other way and pretending all is well when everything is crumbling Incredibly kind and selfless Males I know seem incapable of deep emotion even when theyrsquore being romantic with someoneAnd with that Irsquoll umm sign offYou can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper