Their worries, our stories

It surprised me and yet it didnrsquot My 28yearold recently bought the second edition of Children Just Like Me a Dorling Kindersley book he and his toddler sister had enjoyed 20 years backThe two versions portray exciting progressions in reallife snapshots that document 40 kids internationally with three from India now Shifting geopolitics stronger views on environment protection and an easier acceptance of alternate sexualitiesmdashlike having elder sisters with wivesmdashreflect the infinite complexities of millennial lifeLong lockdown months found Vibhav Mariwala connect his ancestral stories with local history significantly reorienting his interests and plansAs thrilled with the relatively simpler 1996 book our toddler daughter had then clamoured for her own pet tales Having heard the big brother spout the word ldquoanecdoterdquo to mean a story she lisped ldquoTell an anecdote of when you were smallrdquoWe did again and again Wearily skipping not the tiniest detail Eyes droopy at the end of a long editing day I tried to hurry the story ldquoNo wasnrsquot like thatrdquo was the innocent tickoff Acupressure therapist Shesdeb Roul with the patchwork quilt Geeta Khandelwal taught him to make for his baby boy in Orissa Pic courtesyGeeta KhandelwalBoth keen readers today their craved family anecdotes have kept us centred in lockdown Peace isnrsquot to take for granted with three generations under one roof Within a bubble though the giggles and hugs accompanying spoken stories fuse focus with fun and calm the sensesUnpacking the past knits families close in an internal intangible chronicle of how they view themselves in periods of escalating misery Social scientists call this the Transition Principle tweaking the termrsquos original corporate context of a handoverThese narratives cost nothing but our time and receptivity They anchor us to engaging pasts to better navigate the present and be inspired for the future Oral histories act as assertions reassurances Stirring the memory pot they weave the family into a single entity Children can feel secure part of a larger continuous wholeldquoLockdown is alienating Prepandemic we never realised the need for human contact Still it can get suffocating in the same houserdquo says 16yearold Gayatri Kapoor admitting to increased anxiety about school and social events ldquoI worried for the health of family and friends Constantly with technology and social media I felt Irsquod forget communication in a physical setup To the adjustment of online studies instead of attending school was added stress entering Class Xrdquo She attempted video diaries with her best buddy ldquofor a month till we tired talking to a screenrdquoChildrenrsquos illustrations in the TISSCRY report on the pandemic include drawing dolphins off Marine Drive Pics courtesyTissCry Study ReportThe poetry that Gayatri occasionally jotted became a regular activity from 2020 verse which is currently her coping mechanism and passion ldquoIrsquom fascinated by people living in different centuries My grandparentsrsquo accounts absorb me as if they are novels A few weeks ago my parents brought out albums explaining where and why old pictures were shot My favourite is of my very young mother who decided to make a home from the box containing a refrigerator her father bought He helped build lsquoGopirsquos housersquo placing a mattress and her books in it The photo has her peeking out of that cardboard house with my grandfather In an uncertain world this sort of stability is nicerdquoThe gifts of unison work Locate Listen Lengthen Preserve the pieces Save the scraps Remembrances from the vintage years are hardly empty nostalgia Their rich reimaginings are our rewards English Lit professor Dr PE Dustoor mentioned in Vikram Sethrsquos A Suitable Boy with this columnistrsquos motherldquoBeing in Bombay for a wedding last year when campus shut down significantly changed my perspective and reshaped my hobbies and interestsrdquo says Vibhav Mariwala studying anthropology at Stanford Compelled to stay here for 13 months he returned to college this April Strolling the city at leisure particularly in D Ward neighbourhoods he grew up near he says ldquoAllowing me my own pace these walks gradually sparked a deeper appreciation of social history and by extension urban policy My reading preferences went from coverage of largescale global happenings to local histories I was lucky to be in the pandemic space with family and friendsrdquoExtended hours with grandparentsmdashdriving his Nani around town sailing with his Dadamdashgot Vibhav picking up threads of family ties with physical structures abutting Zaveri Bazar and Prarthna Samaj areas he had scarcely ventured into ldquoJuxtaposing these stories with my writing and watching the city evolve was transformative From assuming Irsquod be in the US after college I started work for IDFC Institute a thinkanddo tank in Bombay involving policy issues data governance and public health Lockdown provided an opportunity to convert my attachment to the city exploring issues at home rather than abroad Irsquove written papers on the coastal roadrsquos implications on our ecology on landuse planning and improving local governancerdquoDistances between continents seldom stretch vaster Zal Joshi a computer science grad student in New York was seized by the idea of delving into his ancestry to draw a family tree ldquoFinding old photos in my basement got me wondering about all the family Irsquove not even met before In December 2019 I wanted to make a trip to India Shortly after the pandemic hit Travel not being an option put space between me and my roots It had already been eight years since I visited India The family tree is a way to reach my heritage at a time when itrsquos not possible to in personrdquoAdopting an intersectional traumainformed approach is crucial while recording young voices trapped in this crisis Meticulously mapping this is a collaborative TISSCRY research titled Understanding Childrenrsquos Experiences during the COVID 19 Pandemic Stressors Resilience Support and Adaptation The panIndian survey lists silent stressors for nine to 17yearolds beyond the obvious loss of loved ones Alongside topofmind issues of death shortage of medicines and groceries youngsters fret about financial struggles trouble accessing online school lack of outdoor play and peer relationshipsAs many as 452 per cent report boredom 419 per cent worry More than onethird 338 per cent of the participants confess to confusion and over onefourth fear restlessness and sadness Above onefifth complain of fatigue and angerAssessing what contributes to children feeling less disoriented the paper finds several participants rely on support systems They mention that speaking to family members 204 per cent and friends 10 per cent cope with difficult emotions An 11yearoldgirl from the city has said ldquoMy father tells me stories getting me into a happy staterdquo A 13yearold reveals ldquoI am usually positive so I try to lift my familyrsquos mood in these difficult timesrdquo Findings suggest the physical and socioemotional challenges of adolescence exacerbate the adverse effects for this age group and falling household incomes expose the higherrisk population to physical abuse mental health concerns and spiralling similar vulnerabilitiesFrom the confinement of COVID19 also sprout individual acts of kindness and fellowship cutting class and age barriers Master quilter Geeta Khandelwal has shown differences dissolve when connected with a warmly shared skill Stranded in Bombay her acupressure therapist Shesdeb Deb Roul seemed clearly depressed separated from his wife delivering their first child in Baleswar Orissa Choosing fabrics from her fabled collection Geeta taught him to patch together a little godri Its colours are consciously in the maroon palette and the redandwhite gamcha textile tradition of eastern India where the boy will grow to cherish their relevance That it was created in a faraway state by a father who embroidered the letters of his sonrsquos name Swayam in Oriya marks this heirloom more tenderly ldquoHours concentrating on the baby blanket cheered him until it was possible to swaddle Swayam in itrdquo says Geeta And Deb responds ldquoMadam gives old things such new forms She values rural crafts and mixes their motifs in her designsrdquo Debrsquos baby godri will drape softer with the years testament to the power and poignancy of forwarded talents and dreamsJoint family circles offer uncommon nurturing Mine moulded much of what I do todayAuthorsigned books are among my prized possessions Star autographs include a crypticcool greeting from craggily handsome at the 2011 Jaipur Lit Fest at least Tom Stoppard writing in my copy of his farcical first novel Lord Malquist amp Mr Moon Meher TomA personal line from Vikram Seth in A Suitable Boy lights up our bookshelves forever It refers to my dear Phiroze Uncle Dr PE Dustoor to academia He was a celebrated but unassuming Professor of English at Allahabad and Delhi University His wife Dr Homai Dustoor was founderprincipal of Lady Shriram College Their bond with Harivanshrai and Teji Bachchan forged at Allahabad University over a mutual admiration for WB Yeats the subject of Bachchanrsquos doctoral thesis published coinciding with the Yeats centenary Page 792 of my 1997 edition of A Suitable Boy alludes to a trio of literary legends the bookrsquos rare nonfictional characters ldquoSomeone said the other day that they considered me one of those teachers whose lectures students would never forgetmdasha great teacher like Deb or Dustoor or Khaliluddin AhmedrdquoTimidity tinged with pride I pointed this out on meeting Seth ldquoThatrsquos wonderfulrdquo he exclaimed before writing ldquoWith all good wishes to Meher and her familyrdquo across the margin of that exact pageI often turn to savour this inscription I know the inked glow is for keeps Knowing too that it will remain as treasured by the pair of kids who once pestered ldquoTell us an anecdoterdquoAuthorpublisher Meher Marfatia writes fortnightly on everything that makes her love Mumbai and adore Bombay You can reach her at mehermarfatiamiddaycomwwwmeher marfatiacom