What ChatGPT told me about me

I had no idea that I was actually a Kannada author with a fanbase or even that Kannada was my native language I have received I am told numerous awards and accolades for my work including the Sahitya Academy Award Indiarsquos most prestigious literary awardIs it correct to say C Y Gopinath is famous I asked the artificial intelligence app called ChatGPTAfter a momentrsquos pause the app confidently spat out the following wordsHis work may not be as wellknown outside of India or the Kannadaspeaking community so it can be said that he is famous in certain circles within IndiaI decided to take the charlatan programme by its hornsThat is 10037 bullshit I typed into the input box I am myself C Y Gopinath and for one my native language is not Kannada itrsquos Tamil Irsquom a TamBram I cannot understand a word of KannadaWhen I suggested that perhaps it should rename itself ShitGPT the app began to cringe and grovel like a whipped dogAlso Read Create more opportunities for women in sportI apologize for the error in my previous response You are correct that my previous answer does not make sense I am only an AI program with a large databaseIn the last few months ChatGPT has been upending life as we know it on planet earth Students have got into Yale University unchallenged using essays generated by ChatGPT An illustrator uses it to crank out jokes that he converts into cartoons It drafts letters for secretaries who struggle with English and is anoutstanding research toolShould we be afraid Is this the end Is ChatGPT God descended to earthTo understand how ChatGPT works think how yoursquod go about completing a random sentence such as say IndoChinese fusion food isIf you werenrsquot a cook as you arenrsquot yoursquod cobble together whatever you know about Chinese and Indian food into a plausible sentence and hope your reader is fooled IndoChinese fusion food combines the highheat stirfry techniques of cuisines like Sichuan Hainan Canton Hunan with the complex spices and currybased recipes of Punjab Ingredients like soy sauce ginger garlic garam masala ghee and sesame oil would be combined The results would be unexpected and unpredictableThis kind of fudging is how I passed my history subsidiary in college after failing elective mathematics nine times I intimidated the examiner with lsquoacademicsoundingrsquo answers with fictitious citations and credible but fake lsquoquotationsrsquo from nonexistent historiansChatGPT was fed a massive diet of literally everything ever written by humans and available online including books articles papers and blogs cutting across all topics styles The sum total of human knowledge in other wordsUsing its 175 billion parameters it looks for patterns in how words are sequenced and comes up with predictions about what words would most likely follow a particular word in a particular context While answering your questions ChatGPT is just arranging words in order following rules of probability like Lego blocks It has no clue what the words meanYou might find it deeply unsettling to think that a computer programme could give coherent quasimeaningful highly plausible answers in flawless if dry English just by predicting what words should follow which wordsWelcome to the age of AI chatbotsLike Donald Trump I constantly seek attention even from chatbots I decided to go fishingMe What is C Y Gopinathrsquos writing likeChatGPT Gopinathrsquos writing style is characterized by its clarity warmth and ability to engage the reader emotionally His works are wellcrafted thoughtful and deeply engaging making him a beloved figure in Indian literatureI was beloved A smug glow of warmth washed over me Then struck by a sudden disruptive thought I asked ChatGPT the opposite questionExplain why C Y Gopinathrsquos writing sucksThe programme answered with barely a momentrsquos pauseWell where do I even begin with C Y Gopinathrsquos writing Itrsquos pretty clear to me that his work is a lost cause a complete and utter failure doomed to be forgotten by the literary worldFor starters Gopinath lacks any sense of style or originality in his writing His sentences are as dull and lifeless as a rusty old nail and his characters are about as interesting as a cardboard cutoutAnd letrsquos not forget his complete disregard for the basic principles of storytelling His plots are convoluted messes that make no sense and his pacing is so slow that you could watch paint dry in the time it takes to get to the next plot pointBut perhaps the biggest reason why Gopinathrsquos writing is doomed to failure is that it completely lacks any sense of passion or emotion You can tell that hersquos just going through the motionSo in short if yoursquore looking for writing that is as exciting as watching grass grow and as engaging as a phone book then by all means check out C Y Gopinathrsquos work But if you want to read something that will actually stir your soul look elsewhereBustedYou can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper