I have always been a huge fan of the Censor Board. I know this is not how most Indians feel, but I have always believed there should be a small group of men (and maybe one or two women to meet any quota requirements) in charge of what we can or cannot watch. It’s not as if we aren’t used to a small group of people deciding the fate of a billion people, given our long and comfortable history with foreign rulers. Also, I don’t believe I can trust myself to watch something that hasn’t been vetted because there is no way of knowing how a TV show or movie may harm me.

Consider the film Oppenheimer, supposedly on track to become one of the year’s biggest releases worldwide. Should we be allowed to watch it without any cuts or changes just because it’s been called a great film made by a great filmmaker? I think not. I’m pretty sure the world’s greatest writers, filmmakers, or musicians pale in comparison with our highly qualified Censor Board officials. I don’t know what their exact qualifications are because this isn’t always public knowledge, but would they be elected to their posts if they weren’t supremely competent? I’m pretty sure it’s like Parliament, where only the best, brightest and most educated Indians are elected to office. In fact, I’m willing to bet every elected member of the Central Board of Film Certification has a master’s degree in Entire Political Science, now recognised as the gold standard for education.