Dangerous ishq

We love our Instagram influencers, and so do they. But recent research suggests influencing can lead to unhealthy attachment that could break social media relationships

With six lakh followers and a verified blue tick, Mumbai-based Shanice Shreshtha Sharma is living every influencer’s dream job. Just that, it’s not entirely so. For an industry that’s built on validation from fans and followers, the task of keeping them happy often solely falls on the influencer. And what happens when you can’t?

Last year, when Shanice, who “creates content about her life and everything in it”, took a break from sharing posts on social media to focus on her pregnancy, her inbox was flooded with messages from fans who claimed to be missing her. “If I didn’t respond, they’d get upset. While most were understanding, I did feel pressured at the time,” she says. Her husband, lifestyle vlogger and YouTuber Nikhil Sharma, enjoys the love of his fans, but his privacy has often been compromised, she says. “Nikhil’s old house didn’t have proper security. Sometimes, his fans would come home and ring the bell at odd hours of the night. He didn’t know how to keep them at bay.”

Influencer couple Shanice and Nikhil Sharma say their followers have made unreasonable demands. While one asked them to transfer R1 lakh to his bank account, another person wanted the couple to buy him an iPhone so that he could start vlogging too

Last month, The Sun reported that a social media fan of American influencer and model Kim Kardashian threatened to kill her and boyfriend, Pete Davidson. Kardashian had to file a restraining order against him.

A recent first-of-its-kind study has shed light on the dark side of social media influencing. Researchers Samira Farivar, Fang Wang and Ofir Ture, who surveyed 500 Instagram users, pointed out that “as influencers endeavour to engage followers and increase their power of influence for commercial value, it can result in potential negative consequences to [the] followers’ wellbeing”. They highlight three influencer characteristics—physical attractiveness, social attractiveness and self-presence—that lead to problematic engagement. “Followers can easily become attached and obsessed with influencers and their engagement can often become excessive and unhealthy,” the authors point out, suggesting that “users be aware of, watch out for and exert self-regulations to manage their interactions with influencers”.

Fardeen Shaikh, Melvin Sadankar and Purvi Shah

Preeti Shenoy, one of India’s highest selling authors, who has about 59.6K followers on her Instagram, admits to have been at the receiving end of such obsession. “I am grateful for their love, but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable,” the 50-year-old author shared in a telephonic chat. She has also had many followers take photos of her and her family from her social media and make photobooks. “They don’t mean ill, but it always feels like someone is closely observing what I share. What I put out on my social media is real, but 90 per cent of me is still private. And I keep it that way.” In 2019, when Shenoy used to post motivational content on her Instagram to promote her book, Wake up, life is calling, she realised that her fans depended on her content. “They would message me on days when I wouldn’t post, asking me to share something positive. Someone also asked me to record my voice because she wanted to set it as her wake up alarm. That was very weird and I declined.”

Shanice and Nikhil have also been victims of these bizarre demands by their fans. During COVID-19, says Shanice, a follower asked them to transfer R1 lakh to his bank account. Another asked the couple to give him an iPhone so that he could start vlogging.

Anuj Gosalia, Jitendra Sharma and Nileesha Plakutam

Shanice recalls how once Nikhil and her phone numbers were leaked on social media. “We received multiple calls constantly, often from the same person,” she adds. Another time, a follower spread a rumour about Nikhil dying during a bike trip in Ladakh, because he was not able to post a vlog on his channel for around three days, due to no connectivity. “He had to go to a cyber café and calm his fans. Many people say they can’t live without his videos. I think there’s a greater attachment value when the creator is uploading daily. We appreciate it but it can get difficult to manage,” says Shanice.

Nileesha Plakutam, a PR manager, says she uses Instagram for less than an hour daily, but feels attached to illustrator Alicia Souza’s stories of her son Oliver. “Whenever I have a bad day, I generally shut myself off from social media, but there have been instances where I check her [Souza’s] stories and it makes me happy,” says Plakutam. She admits that her recent shift to a new city, where she had to start from scratch was challenging and Souza’s stories uplifted her mood. “She presents a world that is hopeful. Her stories have a feel-good effect,” she says.

Shabina Gani 

Shabina Gani, a Mumbai-based entertainment and music PR professional, says it bothers her when a comedian doesn’t post on social media. “Sometimes, if I don’t see any new content for 10 days straight, I comment on their previous videos.” She admits sending direct messages to some influencers, to check on them. “I feel incomplete, kind of empty. It bothers me just like those great TV series, which end abruptly. It keeps playing in your head,” the 29-year-old explains. “You can’t do much—just wait till they show up.”

Anuj Goslaia, co-founder of Terribly Tiny Tales (TTT), believes that influencers represent the “ideal” for their followers. “They [the followers] assume that they’ve done something right, which has led to this success. They often became aspirational.”

Preeti Shenoy, author

Psychologist Purvi Shah, founder of mental health and life skills counseling outfit, iPurviShah, agrees. “Because of how open influencers are about their life, one thinks that if they follow them closely, and observe how they live, the influencer’s success will become more achievable. It’s a crude map to success,” states Gosalia. Shah says that obsessed fans also get a sense of validation and acceptance when an influencer replies to their comment. 

Melvin Sadankar and Fardeen Shaikh, co-founders of Instagram page, @Andheriwestshitposting has around 108K followers. The page shares opinions, news updates, and general content and the co-founders state that they have experienced “opinion fatigue.” “If we just put out opinions, a chunk of our audience tell us to put out memes, and if we put out memes, the other chunk tells us to put out opinions. One of our followers accused us of not writing anything about the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial, but we didn’t take a stand because we didn’t want to add to the noise,” they tell us. The reason they think their audience is attached to their content is because, “we are like the cool elder siblings, who let you know what is going on.”

Content creator Jitendra Sharma aka Ted The Stoner, who has around 1.6 million followers, doesn’t think his fans are overtly attached to him or his content. “Engagement on my page has always been friendly. Being real and simple is something that is too underrated and it goes a long way in establishing a healthy relationship with your followers.”

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