It was their eyes that gave it away,” says Noida-based journalist Nilanjana Bhowmick, when we ask about the genesis of her just-released book, Lies Our Mothers Told Us (Aleph Book Company). Bhowmick is speaking about the many Indian women she has come to know, and her struggle to make sense of the unspoken. “We could have been sharing a laugh or enjoying a relaxed time, but I’d always see a sadness in their eyes... something didn’t feel right,” she insists. This curiosity led her to delve deeper, engaging them in conversation. The women were of all types: from 15 to 60, across class and caste, homemakers and professionals. A common cause for concern emerged, one which Bhowmick spells out in her introduction: “India’s middle-class women are reeling under the dual force of tradition and modernity. The two have dumped on them more expectations than they can handle, more fears than they can live with, and more sleepless nights than they care to admit—even 
to themselves.”

Bhowmick is a feminist, but she doesn’t shy away from questioning the challenges it throws for women. Like one of her interviewees, Saira, shares, “Feminism has failed us... In India, feminism doesn’t empower. Just like our parents, feminists, too, have no plan B.” Harking back to the title of her book, Bhowmick says that the “biggest lie our mothers told us as girls is that our world was going to be different”. “...That we would have it better, and that we’d be stepping into a more equal world. This was meant to be their hope for us, but it turned out to be a lie, because nothing really changed,” she says over a video call. Bhowmick cites the example of her own mother, a police officer, living with a traditionalist husband. It was her ambition that led her to prepare for the sub-inspector promotion exam, but Bhowmick remembers that she never actually appeared for the test: “A promotion would mean more responsibilities at work and that would come in the way of her fulfilling responsibilities at home.”