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The decision to forgo parenthood leads to a loss of humanity and is a detriment to civilisation, the Pope has said. Couples discuss whether dogs and cats can take the place of children

Sixteen years ago, filmmaker Abhijit Das met with a car accident in Kolkata. “A friend’s dog died in that mishap,” he remembers. “At the time, I never quite understood the emotion of losing a pet. It was just a dog for me.” Later, Das bought a puppy for his grieving friend. Cradling the animal spurred a new feeling in him. “Everything changed”. Three years later, he became a proud parent to 16 dogs, all abandoned and rescued. He continued to live with the third generation of the brood with more four-legged friends added to the fam. Presently, Das lives with his actor girlfriend Riya Bhattacharje in Mumbai’s Madh Island with 11 dogs and eight cats. “They are our children,” he says.

Das’ memories were triggered by a recent comment on parenthood by Pope Francis made during a weekly general audience at the Vatican. Bemoaning the global decline in birthrates, the head of the Catholic Church suggested that pets are “taking the place of children” branding the act “a form of selfishness”. People who have pets instead of children, the Pope said, were being selfish, exhibiting a “denial of fatherhood or motherhood” that “diminishes us, it takes away our humanity”. The remarks, expectedly, drew strong reactions on social media, particularly on Twitter where he went viral. While there were some who agreed with  the Pope, there were many who didn’t. “Billionaires and oil companies are right there, and Pope Francis is out here calling people with dogs selfish,” wrote Sarah Maclean, bestselling romance author and The Washington Post columnist.

Filmmaker Abhijit Das and his partner Riya Bhattacharje, an actor, have 11 dogs and eight cats. They often go to brewpub Doolally where pets are allowed. The beach in Madh Island is also one of their favourite haunts; (right) Everol Dsouza, a city-based photographer, with wife Meryln, baby Moana, and their dog Coco

Das and Bhattacharje admit they are guilty of lavishing parental love on their pets. But why not? “Living in Mumbai away from our families, our kids complete us. Abhijit’s responsibility is getting the food and the medical stuff. The baths and fun, goofy activities involve me. I do photoshoots and Reels with them. But then he pampers them a lot more and is very lenient while I try to be strict,” she says. As a family, they often go to brewpub Doolally where pets are allowed. The beach in Madh Island is also one of their favourite haunts. “We all sleep on the same bed. Rather Abhijit sleeps on the floor with three kids and I sleep on the bed with another four!” she laughs. In common with most pet owners, they admit they couldn’t be more involved in their lives, if they actually were children. 

According to Das, in a world where animals are neglected on the streets, giving them a home and hope is not just an act of kindness, but duty. “Jesus is known as the Lamb of God. He is also called the Shepherd and humans are all sheep. Jesus says all creatures are his children and will go to heaven. So how is it selfish to love another living being?”

Mumbai-based yoga teacher Yashashree Kale and her musician husband Mehar Chumble, who live with three cats in Andheri West, feel it’s reductive to compare babies with pets. “Whether to have babies or not is a personal choice. It’s a huge investment and as a couple, we aren’t ready for that. Also, we aren’t in the same position as our parents who already had two children and were ready to buy a house when they were our age. It’s harder to afford now,” says Chumble.

Research from the Pew Research Center reflects a longer-term trend of women eschewing parenthood; the number of US women who choose to forego motherhood altogether has doubled since 1970. And that’s the trend globally, thinks Kale. “The Pope said the population of Catholics is diminishing, but the overall human population is only growing. And signs of overconsumption are there for all to see.”

Roughly 83 million people are added to the world’s population each year, according to the UN. As per estimates, by around 2024, India will have overtaken China.

Psychotherapist Rhea Gandhi says the way families look has significantly changed over the years, and that’s part of the evolution process. “People are making choices that are different. Take queer families, for instance. So, it’s all about growth in different directions. When it comes to pets, human beings have had a significant relationship with them for generations. It’s  not as simple as replacing children with pets.” In a scientific paper titled Pet Parenting in the United States: Investigating an Evolutionary Puzzle, author Shelly Volsche says nonparents’ investment in companion animals is much like how parents invest in children, but in ways that meet species-specific needs. “This supports the notion that nonparents may be nurturing companion animals as a trade-off to raising children, but not as a substitute. This is an evolutionarily novel application of parenting strategies in a new, flexible environment,” 
she writes.

Everol Dsouza, photographer and founder of Ed Fotografii, feels it’s essential to see the Pope’s perspective before critiquing his point of view. “He has a pertinent point, because we do need more youth in this world. Deciding to have children, or living a child-free life is a personal choice, but by not having so, there’ll be fewer younger people in this world and that can lower the economy’s capacity to grow. Pope Francis has also supported the idea of adoption, so it’s not about procreation alone.” Dsouza and his wife Meryln have a two-year-old baby, Moana, and an indie named Coco. Dsouza says Moana and Coco are growing up like siblings. 

“Even though Coco is 4.5 years old, we treat him like a child. When people ask us if we want to have a second baby, we say we have two already.”

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