On Instagram, independent artist and Ambedkarite Siddesh Gautam’s illustrations reflect Dalit pride in blue. His handle @bakeryprasad has a deep-in-thought Dr Babasaheb Ambedkar in all avatars; the activism of Savitribai Phule, Jyotirao Phule, Ramabai Ambedkar, and Manyawar Dina Bhana, also inspires the 32-year-old’s artistry. This was not the case in his teens. “I was orphaned from history and forced to adopt someone else’s as mine,” he writes in an Instagram post.

Now Noida-based, Gautam grew up in Bijnor in Western Uttar Pradesh and Uttarakhand, where his caste followed him like a shadow. “To protect me from this, my parents enrolled me in missionary schools,” he remembers. “I was unable to make friends, and had a lonely childhood,” he says over a call. When he got admission to the National Institute of Fashion Technology (NIFT) in Mumbai, in 2010, he thought he was finally starting afresh. “The institute didn’t have a hostel, so students were encouraged to rent an apartment with batchmates.” Gautam found himself in interesting company sooner than expected, and four of them decided to rent an 11th floor home in a Navi Mumbai highrise. “I remember the gentle, cool breeze from the window of that flat... I wanted to live there.” While they were in the midst of closing the deal, one classmate casually told the rest that although he was a ‘Kumar’, he was a Bhumihar Brahmin. “He initiated the conversation in a way that appeared like he was not asking us about our caste, but telling us instead.” Gautam realised that clarifications were in order. “But I was so mesmerised by the idea of living on the 11th floor that I decided to lie. One lie led to another... I even told them that my parents were vegetarian, that I was the first generation to try non-vegetarian food. That’s how, I ended up lying about my identity throughout college.” His new identity as a Brahmin also meant that he was now part of their close circle. “I learnt how they spoke about other classmates... they would take out answer-sheets and mark out the surnames that they found unidentifiable.”