My friend, Irrfan

The strange thing is that I never really thought I would be writing a book about Irrfanrdquo director Anup Singh tells us during a telephonic interview ldquoBut when someone close to you passes away you are haunted by the memories and painful ones at thatrdquoSingh is speaking of actor Irrfan Khan who passed away in April 2020 after having struggled with a neuroendocrine tumour for three years Cherished in India and internationally for his calm yet powerful performances in The Namesake Piku Paan Singh Tomaar and Lunch Box he was an actor for all generations When he died many including his fans felt a personal lossSingh remembers in his book how memories of Irrfan kept cropping up after he passed on He writes ldquoAnd I want this torrent of memories to stop Yet I am relieved when they donrsquot The horror in his eyes during the shoot of Qissa The Tale of a Lonely Ghost 2014 our first film together when I spring a scene on him in which he has to dance During the shoot of The Song of Scorpions 2017 our second film together he holds up a scorpion by its tail and caresses its head At the filmrsquos premiere at Locarno hesitant but finally with a cigarette in his mouth he joins me and Golshifteh Farahani the Iranian actor and the female protagonist of the film in the blue stormrippled Lake ComordquoSingh who first met the actor in the rsquo90s and has worked with him in Qissa 2013 and Songs of Scorpions 2017 found a friend in Khan ldquoItrsquos his curiosity that led him along as a man and actorrdquo says Singh who is the author of Irrfan Dialogues With The Wind Copper Coin a book he says he wrote to honour his friend and remember him some moreExcerpts from the interviewHow did the book become an idea you didnrsquot give up onIrrfan had passed away and the days kept passing with a storm of memories This was painful I wanted to not remember and silence it all Letrsquos say I was going for a walk and there was a cloud in the sky and its tail was moving away from it I would feel that if Irrfan saw this he would embody it in his body If I went for a drive and there was a gentle curve in the road I would feel that Irrfan would appreciate it We were going to work on a movie that was about dance and I used to feel that may be Irrfan would use this curve in his body when we spoke about dance I was unable to get over and past himThatrsquos a lovely way to direct someoneIt was in the 1990s when I first met him and we were doing something for television I was in front of the front of the camera working out a movement I wanted him to do And I was humming Then suddenly I heard someone singing It was Irrfan watching me When he did the shot he was still singing the melody He then told me ldquoAnup saab now every time we work together you have to give me a melodyrdquo That was how we connected for the first time as actordirectorThis was a running thread and I realised that I couldnrsquot run away from my memories He was appearing before me all the time there was no escape Perhaps there was a reason for this Maybe he was saying that I had left something incomplete So first I wrote down the dance movie we were supposed to work on As I did that there was a calm that came over me While I was writing the script I kept a notebook and whenever a memory came to me I jotted it I also used to sometimes share this on social media On reading this one of my friends called me and said ldquoMy suggestion to you is write more remember morerdquoAs an actor and man he found a place in both the discerning or the aloof movie watcherrsquos heart How did that happen you thinkHe had an immense curiosity about everything For example if he saw a pebble he would study it for hours and hypothesize as to what gave the pebble its colour where had it travelled to take on the shape it had now and how many other hands had held it What went with that was also an insecuritymdashhis acting was full of pauses and hesitation and that is something we all related to without understanding it really All this translated on to screen and he became a part of usAnup SinghHow would you like the book to be receivedWhen I read it the first time I realised it was full of grief And that was not right My memories were joyful and we had so much fun together as well I rewrote much of what I had written and tried to bring to life the lilt that Irrfan carried within him I got into rhythm I hope that when the reader finishes the book if only for a few days he is able to live with Irrfanrsquos lilt