Rule of thumb

Finding someone to love is hard enough let alone in a pandemic Dating apps can feel significantly different in the age of social distancing given the difficulty in migrating your digital connections into the real world Therersquos only so much that you can glean about a person through inapp video chats and FaceTime calls Thedrink that you wouldrsquove usually planned after a few successful hours of chatting is no longer an available interventionAll of which goes to suggest that ldquoswiperrsquos fatiguerdquo is a legit global phenomenon Itrsquos that old familiar feeling when dating starts to feel like a chore While the possibilities and choices seem exciting at first the effort it requires can be exhaustingPrakriti Poddar relationship expert and managing trustee at Poddar Foundation says people leave dating apps due to boredom stress and sometimes when they find what they were looking forPapri Dev Senior Director APAC Communications Tinder says social distancing and selfquarantine did not mean disconnecting for Tinder members Tied together by this unprecedented development folks at Tinder became chattier than ever In India May 3rd 2020 was the peak of chattiness where an average of 60 per cent more messages versus the beginning of the lockdown in early March were exchanged much above the global averageShe says the pandemic taught them the power of conversational common ground powered by shared experiences On September 12th for 3 consecutive weekends Tinderreg made its Swipe Night event available in India Swipe Night is a firstperson inapp interactive event where members could swipe at key points in the experience to move the story forward Their choices dictated more than just the story they also impacted who they matched with and gave them an icebreaker to chat about through a shared experienceJitesh Bisht CEO HiHi a homegrown dating app says when they launched in August 2020 within six months their user base grew from zero to over 250k user downloads ldquoBut during the first 10 days of April this year we noticed a slight drawdown in daily activationsrdquo Although the numbers are improving Bisht says modern day dating apps need to be aware of fatigue ldquoFor now we have a familiar swipe model and icons to tap because it is a simple format that everyone understands But we realised that there are more things that should be done to make the app interesting and attractiverdquo As a result HiHi has launched two new features Flirtcast and Charm With Flirtcast a user can broadcast a message to several nearby people at once The message can reflect his or her mood or be a simple and short generic text to catch the attention of likeminded folks Charm is a set of personalised messages suggested by HiHirsquos machine learning algorithm It is used as an icebreaker by a user to show greater intent to start a conversation with a specific user Bisht says the thrust is also on ldquobetter matchmakingrdquo ldquoWe did this by changing the user selection strategy with a sevenstep funnel approach which collects data at every step and helps the algorithm to match profiles as well These are parametres like religion diet preferences and political leanings that the user can specifyrdquoJitesh Bisht CEO HiHi a homegrown dating app says now the thrust is also on ldquobetter matchmakingrdquo They have done this by changing the user selection strategy with a sevenstep funnel approach which collects data at every step and helps the algorithm to match profiles wellThe Coronavirusinduced restrictions may have altered the way we interact with each other but our need for human connection is intact thinks Samarpita Samaddar communications director at Bumble India ldquoSingle Indians feel the need to build trust before meeting inperson which has given rise to slow dating This means people are taking more time to get to know each other better They want to have fulfilling conversations that could lead to a new connection and video calls are proving to be an effective tool to form these connectionsrdquo Predates are essentially video dates that help a user get to know another before scheduling a meeting Samaddar has observed an increased use of and extended duration of video chats since the lockdown last year with Bumble India users spending roughly 20 minutes on an average on a video call or voice chat Bumble India launched in 2019 as a platform that challenged outdated gender norms of dating letting users connect with dates friends and business partners with confidence Recently it launched the ldquoCOVID Preferencesrsquorsquo feature This provides users a large selection of choices to showcase exactly how they want to date virtually or sociallydistanced with masks and what precautions they want to take ldquoAdditionally users can now select and add up to five lsquointerest badgesrsquo from over 150 categories that range in various categories including sports creative hobbies preferred choice of activities while choosing to stay in favourite movies television shows music and books People can also choose to showcase their values and personality traits along with expressing their choice of allyship and support for various social causesrdquoOkCupid which debuted in 2004 making it one of Indiarsquos OG dating sites is powered by an algorithm informed by user responses to almost 3000 questions Last month they released their first global Climate Change Advocate Profile Badge and Stack Incidentally it was inspired by a survey that showed environmental concerns top the chart with daters in India 45 per cent UK 47 per cent US 41 per cent and Turkey 36 per cent agreeing it was of critical importance to them The second most important cause to emerge for millennial daters was world peace followed by eradicating diseasePriyanka Ghura Kuka and Tanisha Ghura Kanani of Not So ArrangedSamaddar says that the survey conducted by Bumble reveals that when it comes to making a connection online education and career choices matter most to single Indians followed by dating intentions However the top most deciding factor when meeting someone inperson is compatibility 23 per cent She acknowledges that the need to take a break from dating apps is an important factor while designing strategies ldquoFor them those seeking a break we have the lsquosnoozersquo mode that allows you to pause your activity on Bumble including options for prioritising mental wellbeing and even a digital detoxrdquoPrakriti Poddar is a relationship expert and managing trustee at Poddar Foundation She says according to a survey conducted in the US in 2020 the top three reasons people delete dating apps are boredom stress and when they eventually find what they were looking for ldquoThe reasons are largely the same in India too Many users who have been searching for a partner for a while may choose to quit temporarily or permanently We get both kindsmdashthose who have just entered the world of dating apps are more likely to continue searching for the right match and those who are ambivalent and may quit the search altogether But most of them choose to search after a breakrdquoSamarpita SamaddarSister duo Priyanka Ghura Kuka and Tanisha Ghura Kanani are the founders of Not So Arranged A website that calls itself one for ldquoserious datingrdquo it launched in India last month Kanani says ldquoOur site doesnrsquot allow for swiping or what we call window shopping Combined with our compatibility quiz and lsquoface to facersquo get to know you sesh we want to take dating offlinerdquo she says The compatibility test is curated by Panna Kamaljit a psychologist with experience in relationship and premarital counselling ldquoOur approach focuses on quality by blending psychology with dating behaviourrdquo Kuka believes dating apps have lent a superficiality to dating and with all the doom and gloom around us there are users who have been low and disinterested ldquoBut there are those who look at us as an avenue of hope to help them seek that meaningful relationshiprdquoPoddarrsquos cardinal advice to those on the app is to keep their expectations low when they meet someone ldquoThere are good genuine people on apps but there are fake people too Give yourself and the connection some time to understand each other before you set your expectations The trick is to figure yourself and the other person as much as you can to help set realistic goals that can be met by bothrdquoAccording to Samaddar Bumblersquos recent nationwide survey also revealed that one in three 38 per cent single Indians hopes to see themselves in a committed relationship in 2021 ldquoDespite everything there is hoperdquo20No of minutes Bumble India users are spending on predates or video calls in an attempt to know the other better before an inperson meet up45 per centPercentage of OK Cupid users in India who listed environmental concerns as a top priority