The geography of intimacy

Sociologist Manjima Bhattacharjya sought a ldquoreal groundedrdquo conversation about the choice of women in India choosing sex work ldquoThe idea of women consenting to sexual labour is often equated with Western countriesrdquo says the 46yearold ldquoBut in India the conversation is focused on poor women in red light areasmdashthe framework of lsquomajboorirsquo dominates it It was a niggling unresolved question for me What about women who are middle class and do transactional sexual labour What are the circumstances in which people ldquochooserdquo to transact sexual experiencesrdquoThe answers and much more in the form of the sexual geography of Mumbai can be found in her book Intimate City Bhattacharjya has a PhD in Gender and Labour from JNU Delhi She has been part of the movement for rights of sex workers since 1997 and works in the development sector Research on a former book Mannequin Working Women in Indiarsquos Glamour Industry also ldquobrought her deeper into the question of labour and sexualityrdquoAmong the many shapes and forms that sexual transactions take place in the metropolis Bhattacharjya makes interesting observations about male sex workers the names of escort girls the way sexwork has changed with the Internet and the GirlfriendBoyfriend experience The crucial assertion is that people entering these transactions are ordinary folk Not just the shady lanes of Kamathipura ldquothe beach local trains the internet are also spaces where intimacy is sought and transacted The erotic is embedded in the everyday The intimate city coexists with the industrial cityrdquo With this she uncovered subterranean strains of desire loneliness and fantasiesThe book is dotted with many epiphaniesmdashboth for the author and some of the sex professionals she interviewed both providers and buyers ldquoI didnrsquot think theyrsquod be such nice peoplerdquo exclaimed one escort after a job Sex work offline is a tangle of consent middlemen dubious dealings constrained physical places and fear of violence Online is far more liberating especially for women who are buying the service It gave them an avenue to articulate desires and seek ways to fulfil themInterestingly itrsquos not pure sex that women want itrsquos what is being called the Boyfriend Experiencemdasha simulation of intimacy and comfort that comes from an established relationship One woman wanted to enact the excitement of the wedding night complete with flowers on the bed and the man in a sherwani Another wanted someone to watch TV with and cuddle While websites also advertised The Girlfriend experience for men Bhattacharjya says it is more to distance it from the crude transactions in alleyways and raise to ldquoescort levelrdquo She scoured a hundred escort websites where an idea of a ldquogirlfriend experiencerdquo was promised but the clients only one wanted onetime sex ldquoI suspect what the agencies intended was to disguise the monetary aspect and distance it from what would happen in a red light areardquo The women were also given ldquoupper classrdquo names that align with the gentry and sound ldquoBollywoodishrdquomdashsay Natasha Oberoi or Tanvi MishraDuring the course of her research Manjima Bhattacharjya uncovered subterranean strains of desire loneliness and fantasies among ordinary people PicShadab KhanThe difference was where men sought sex women sought attention and companionship ldquoIt was about not being heardrdquo says the Andheri resident ldquoNot having the voice or the language with which to articulate their desires Not having an attentive and caring companion whether to spend time with or travel with or just fulfil fantasies withrdquoIt may be why while women sex workers feel like commodities the men sex workers see themselves as service providers Though this might also be influenced by the fact that historically prostitution catered to male clients ldquoTheir intimacies are mediated by the internet and transactional relations where payment is not always in cash but through gifts holidays and meals at some restaurantsrdquo she says For men the service seems like a sidehassle and nonpermanent while womenmdasheven those working independently through the internetmdashmay have to face the consequences of neighbours and relatives finding out about their workSoliciting or advertising on the Internet also differs among the genders Fewer women advertised themselves ldquothey were almost invisiblerdquo she says ldquoIt was much more common to find men advertising services or having conversations on sex work online The men also had a fluid identitymdashthey were service providers but also often clients They also played a thirdparty role like a pimp So they were less attached to the idea of having a fixed role in the world of sexual transactions Women sex workers saw themselves in their fixed role as sex workers or escort girlsrdquoUnsurprisingly male consortsrsquo talk about their work was based on internalised social moresmdashthey saw it as an achievement or hat tip to their sexual prowess whereas women would speak of it as something shameful and entered into due to constricting circumstances and life trajectories