Here's what the short film 'Holy Curse' reveals about queerness and home

There is a room with pink walls mdash the furniture in its place Two frames adorn the walls of the room and a figure pushes against the door when their family constantly knocks from the outside urging them to come out ldquoI want to go back homerdquo says Radha a teen with short hair wearing a blue tank and shorts as they take their suitcase and rummage through it This image sets the scene for the film Holy Curse a 15minute short film that traces the evolving identity of the protagonist RadhaWhere is home or rather what is home For Radha who has returned back to India from the United States their family mdash their mother father uncle and cousin Bittu do not offer the comforts of home any more Their uncle insists on carrying out a ritual to cure the way Radha acts constantly reiterating the fact that they seem to be cursed by an ancestor as the reason for their ldquoqueernessrdquoTheir mother unknowingly reinforces a lot of normsThe ritualised version of the conversion therapy is suggested due to how Radha does not conform to the image of an ideal daughter in a patriarchal household They do not grow their hair out do not play with dolls or wear clothes that would be traditionally considered more feminine All of these acts do not sit right with the familyrsquos perception of gender binaries and how Radha seems to exist outside of them Snigdha Kapoor the writer and the director of the film states that she derives inspiration for the storyline from parts of her own experience growing up ldquoWhen your body changes the environment tells you who you are how you should be how you should act People start enforcing ideas around your identity and it restricts how you express yourselfrdquo she saysKapoorrsquos memories shape not just the plot but the filmrsquos emotional grammar She focuses on the concept of gaze in film ldquoThe idea came from a phase of life mdash those bodily changes and how something biological like getting your first period doesnrsquot change your sense of self but changes how people see yourdquo she says expressing how these themes form the filmrsquos core messageSnigdha Kapoor writer and directorRadha does not have a space to express themselves and their feelings are dismissed The film further communicates the hierarchy of an Indian patriarchal household mdash a subtle reminder of how elder male figures control everything and how everyone has to oblige with whatever they say sometimes not even due to compliance but conditioning As Kapoor explains ldquoWriting this wasnrsquot themefocused it was intuitive I was channelling that anger Now being older I understand where the family comes frommdashthese inherited belief systems are so hard to question I wanted to capture the emotions that come from navigating thatrdquoThe name Holy Curse itself is a paradox and connects the Brahminical rituals that the family tries to engage in to ldquocurerdquo their child and the way they believe that being different is a curse Kapoor unpacks it beautifully ldquoYour biology can become the cause of expectations or norms being imposed on you The word symbolises traditions that families think are sacred The curse is what happens when you donrsquot align with those beliefsrdquoShe further adds ldquoSometimes things said in the name of love end up hurting you So the title captures that ironymdashhow something considered holy can become a curse when it forces you into an identity that doesnrsquot fitrdquoThe film explores the delicate thread that intertwines Radha with their sense of self and the director does a phenomenal job of portraying it for an audience that may also be exposing themselves to something related to queer identity for the first time ldquoI think the biggest thing is allowing someone who hasnrsquot experienced this to walk through Radharsquos journey You donrsquot have to agree with what the child thinks of themself but you must give them space to figure it out instead of telling them something is wrong with themrdquo Kapoor says ldquoEven if someone hasnrsquot been exposed to queer experiences they can relate to the human experiencerdquo She prefers calling it a ldquohuman storyrdquo stating that it avoids the othering of the notion of queerness in filmsThe filmrsquos 43 aspect ratio communicates a feeling of confinement and uneasiness to the viewer with the composition and character building following a similar logic ldquoScenes with family around Radha feel staged and restrictive the priest the ceremonies even the opening shot with everyone outside the doorrdquo Kapoor explains In contrast the camera becomes fluid whenever Radha is alone or in a safe space with their cousin Bittu ldquoThe jarring cuts mirror Radharsquos emotional turbulence A 12yearold doesnrsquot have the tools to understand whatrsquos happening to them so the audience shouldnrsquot feel entirely comfortable eitherrdquoCharacters like Radharsquos mother show us how the person who might love the most may unintentionally enable harmful norms Kapoor also adds how the family changes more than Radha does mdash their cousin Bittu ends up as an ally becoming Radharsquos source of gender euphoria The frame of the film finally opens up when Radha commits an act of selfliberation mdash the world around them might not have changed but they reclaimed their space in it