Exclusive: "I had no intention of making a comeback," says Imran Khan

Imran Khan reminds his writer that itrsquos been 10 years since we last met He is making tea for us and suggests we have it with a dash of condensed milkmdashldquoit adds sweetness without the sugarrdquo We acquiesce and it tastes good The last time we met was in 2013 before the release of Vishal Bhardwajrsquos Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola ldquoActually we must have met in November or December of 2012rdquo he says ldquoI remember I was shooting for a magazine cover with Anushka Sharma his coactor in Matru that dayrdquo He has a sharp memory we inform himIn 2015 Khan acted in Katti Batti opposite Kangana Ranaut his last outing on screen On September 20 2018 he posted on Instagram about directing a short film Mission Mars Keep Walking India It would be a while before any of us saw KhanOn August 1 this year the clouds finally partedIn this post on his Instagram KhanThe action began with Khan replying to Zeenat Amanrsquos post on Instagram The legendary star who had become all the rage as she started sharing vignettes from her life on the social media platform had posted a reel that spoke of her collaboration with credit card payment platform CRED After watching the ad a fan named Aditi wrote ldquoZeenat Aman ji ne bhi comeback karlia patani mera Imran Khan kab karega Even Zeenat Aman has made a comeback wondering when Imran Khan will make one toordquo Khan replied ldquoChalo Aditi letrsquos leave this to the Internethellip 1 million likes and I will make it happen shake hands emojirdquoldquoI didnrsquot even have access to my Instagram account when the CRED guys contacted me asking if I could comment on the postrdquo he tells us now After Khan retrieved the account which had been lying fallow for five years he posted the comment ldquoI had no intention of making a comeback of any sort In my mind that was the end of itrdquo he says as we sit crosslegged on a carpet in his living room But the universe had different plansmdashthe comment got one million likes ldquoI have been feeling this for the past couple of months There is a knock on the door and the universe says lsquoBus is leaving yoursquore comingrsquo All one has to say is lsquoyesrsquordquoKhan says it felt like the universe knew he was ready ldquoThese past few years I was not I was in a dark place I had become something of a white whalerdquo The paparazzi has only found him a few times this yearmdashonce with daughter Imara and his mom Nuzhat at Bandstand ldquoI donrsquot know how they found outrdquo he says ldquoI had my mask on and a hoodie and we were barely out for six minutesrdquoAt 40 Khan is ageing wellmdashtaller than he seems on screen still freshfaced with salt and pepper hair He seems passionate animated contemplative and reflective at the same time The last few years he says have been about showing up for his daughter and spending time with her The room has her presence stampedmdasha chocolate foil wrapper animal on the music system and her roller blades in one corner The actorrsquos divorce with his wife Avantika Malik was finalised in 2022 and he shares custody He has also been readingmdashthe book on his centretable is Madly Deeply The Alan Rickman Diariesmdashand is working on his next Lego creation Recently he started rewatching his own movies ldquoMy movies felt radioactive to me Since this whole Instagram thing has happened though I have been watching them againrdquoOn Instagram the posts are raw deep and revealing While some just revisit behind the scenes of movies like Break Ke Baad 2010 and Delhi Belly 2011 there are posts where he talks about selfharm a negative inner voice and ldquoold woundsrdquo As a post on September 6 says ldquoWhen yoursquove lived so long in darkness the sunshine can feel unbearably bright at first I have been flooded with so many messages of love support and encouragement that it felt weirdrdquo ldquoI have a hard time taking it all inrdquo he tells us ldquoThis thing that I posted about seeking negativity for instance When I started reading positive things about me recentlymdashone article said my movies were ahead of their times and found a cultlike audiencemdashit felt like a rug pull Itrsquos like they are luring me in and then they will say lsquohaha you fell for itrsquo I feel like itrsquos a traprdquoKhan grew up loving the movies and it continues to be a big part of him ldquoI have felt moved and touched by my cinematic heroesmdashthey have given me happiness and comfort I know the value of that I was watching a documentary on Michael J Foxrsquos life Still which is about him living with Parkinsonrsquos I see him fight this with so much grace It did a thing to me where I said lsquolook at his strength If he can do that I can do thatrsquordquo He pauses and chuckles ldquohellipand then comes the really crazy part People are messaging memdashI grew up with your films your films moved me and touched me And I am thinking can it be that I was a part of something that was a formative experience for someone that moved someone that touched their hearts the way my heroes touched my heart Thatrsquos the mindboggling thingrdquoKhan hasnrsquot signed a new film yet ldquoSince this has happened calls have been comingrdquo OTT ldquoYes I want to do what I once loved doingrdquo And whatrsquos his state of mind right now ldquoI am suddenly reengaging with the world my fans my own filmsmdashI am trying to heal my relationship with my own work And thatrsquos happened because of all these people who are messaging me I want to feel this feeling of nourishment and I want to saymdashyes this is my life rather than look at all of it with embarrassment I want to look at it with love and priderdquo