'My guy feels my friend is a bad influence on me...'

I have been with my guy for over a year now. The only problem is he doesn't like my best pal who is married. He thinks she is a bad influence on me

Dear Diana,
I have been with my guy for over a year now. The only problem is he doesn't like my best pal who is married. He thinks she is a bad influence on me. My friend is having major issues in her married life and keeps telling me her woes. My guy does not like it one bit. He feels I should not interfere in her married life. Further, he feels my pal is trying her best to break our relationship as well. She tells me my guy's shortcomings. My pal thinks as love is blind, she is making me aware of my guy's inadequacies. But my guy and I are having major fights about it. He feels I should break my friendship with this woman. It is like I have to choose between her and my guy. What do I do? I like my guy a lot as well as my friend, who I know from my college days.
– Saneeta


Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Saneeta,
Your guy thinks she is influencing you which is to an extent correct. This is because you are allowing yourself to be influenced by her. Learn to think for yourself. She is feeding you information about the weaknesses of your guy. She might find something odd in him, but repeatedly she has been finding faults in him. This is of concern as she could be a trouble maker. Do you see yourself as a mediator in her marriage crisis? If not, then tell her not to keep telling you about her marriage woes. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, give her a patient ear, but do not carry tales to your guy. At the same time, when she tells you stuff about your guy, instead of telling your boyfriend, reason it out yourself. You will have to learn to balance your friendship between your pal and your guy instead of putting them against each other.

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