’Our sexy man’

Anirban Sen profiles a sexologist from the state, but prefers to keep his subject in anonymity. We all understand why, but more importantly, we wonder why we don't meet such brilliant minded and liberated Indian men more often...

'Our sexy man'

He is one of India's leading psychiatrists and also a well-renowned sexologist. Colleagues say that during his 22 years of practice, he has rarely been late for work or taken a break from work. With his piercing brown eyes and tall demeanor, he comes across as an intimidating figure someone who cannot be bullied around. But that's before he opens his mouth and says:

The icy mask melts away completely and gives way to a soft-spoken and jovial man. Known for his wicked and wild sense of humor, the psychiatrist-cum-sexologist might as well have considered a career as a standup, with one-liners and gags about marriage and sex delivered at regular intervals with a poker face.

"When you're good at something, never do it for free!" he says, quoting Heath Ledger's Joker from the recent blockbuster The Dark Knight. "It hardly pays to be a standup comedian in India."

Sipping on black coffee, the six-foot-one-inch tall man keeps his eyes glued to the television, with his bushy eyebrows knitted together with concentration and his arms akimbo, before a final-year psychiatry student calls out to him and shakes him out of his reverie.

"That man is totally into the subject of sex and sexology. He is a sexy man! This man is like an encyclopedia as far as sex is concerned," an associate fondly says. Even though he is primarily a psychiatrist, he is immensely knowledgeable about matters relate to sex and human sexual behavior.

"Sex is a taboo subject in India and not many people can be as open about it as I am," he says. "Discussing sex openly is widely considered to be detrimental to our culture. The perception towards sex is gradually changing with people being slightly more open about it, but we still have a long way to go before we compare ourselves with other Western countries." He feels that it is ironical that sex is considered a taboo subject, despite India being the land of the Kama Sutra.

"As you probably know, Kama Sutra was written around 400 BC and it discusses sex very openly, without any inhibitions," he says. "Indian society in earlier times was very open about the concept of sexuality. But the British invasion of the country completely changed things. Victorian concepts of sex are extremely rigid. They came to our country and preached that sex was a bad thing. Then came the religious text of Manu Samhita, which kind of reinforced what the British had said earlier and also spelt out that a woman can never be the equal of a man. Sadly, these ideas still persist in our society."

He, however, believes that Indian society is 'hypocritical' to a great extent and a lot goes on behind closed doors.

"People in our country tend to push things like homosexuality, incest and sexual abuse of children under the carpet, but it still keeps happening within our society," he says. "In fact in our country, homosexuality has been made illegal by the Indian Penal Code. The other day, our dear Health Minister Ambumani Ramadoss also spoke out against it. Unless awareness about sex is spread properly, sex will always remain a taboo subject."

Described as a perfectionist by most of his associates, he doesn't look like a pervert and is especially particular about his appearance. His white doctor's coat is immaculate, his necktie is held in place by a tie clip, the off-white shirt under his coat is wrinkle-free, his moustache is neatly clipped and every, single hair on his head is gelled back with Brylcreem, giving him the appearance of a Mafia overlord.

He is also careful about every, single word that he utters. Before he answers questions, he ponders and his brows work furiously. Only after that, does he come to the point.

His office is even more impeccable. Three of the four shelves in the room are lined with books, all arranged alphabetically, and files, all of which are stacked and labeled neatly. The fourth shelf, however, contains trophies and certificates that he has won over the years. Not a speck of dust could be seen anywhere in the room. "The most important thing about him is the focused manner in which he approaches his work," says the associate. "He is probably THE person when it comes to psychiatry, as well as matters of sexology."

He ends my discussion with him cracking yet another sexual pun. He laughs and says. "Sex and computers is almost the same thing with one small difference. When the software gets into the hardware, it is a computer.

However, when the hardware gets into the software, then it becomes sex". I laugh too and nod in agreement. Which of us doesn't?

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