Does mum know best?

Rupert Murdoch is in the news for all the wrong reasons these days, including the phone-tapping scandal. It turns out that his mother had warned him against invading people's privacy, which he ignored. Active! asks the experts whether it pays to follow mummyji's advice after all

Does mum know best?

It sure isn't easy being Rupert Murdoch. In what is being called 'The Scandal of the Decade', the world is watching the media mogul face the heat, as he tries to duck shaving-foam yielding protesters and defend himself on charges of phone-tapping and hacking. And to think this could have been avoided if Murdoch had listened to his mother, who had warned him against invading another's privacy. The 102-year old Elisabeth Murdoch has often expressed a dislike for Rupert's media practices, especially invasive journalism, stating, "I think the invasion of people's privacy is the worst thing. I think privacy is anybody's right. I really do."

We all know the drill, don't we? Eat your meals on time says Mom, and yet we skip breakfast and lunch to suffer from chronic acidity. Early to bed, she says, and yet we endure sleepless nights to work and end up with insomnia, headaches and dark circles.

So does the mommy-knows-best diktat apply well past our childhood? Psychologist Anjali Chabbria, explains, "Mothers know their children well, are aware of their faults and weaknesses and will always look out for their best interests. Hence, they will continue giving advice, when they feel their children are going wrong," she says.

That doesn't mean we're listening, though. Janki Mehta, psychologist and counsellor, explains why we ignore our mother's advice, despite the fact that it might save us a lot of trouble. "We know that what our mothers say may be the right thing to do, but we want to break out of their shadow. Human tendency is such that we want to learn from our own experiences and create our own identity. We would rather learn from the trouble we've fallen into, than stay protected," she says. "As one becomes socially and professionally recognised, we try to discard their advice as outdated, saying that it won't hold in modern times."

And while it may be painful to watch your children make mistakes, it is important that mothers know when to draw the line when it comes to parenting. "Indian parents are known to feel responsible for their children till they are convinced that the kids are settled. This could go on well till they turn 25 and get a stable job, right till they're married off and have children themselves," says Janki. As for the 'child', who is now grown up and free to take his decisions, it always helps to pay heed to your mother's advice, if not necessarily follow it. "It definitely helps to understand what your mother is trying to say. When in doubt, stay objective and assess the situation before taking the decision," says Anjali. That's the grown up
thing to do.