Is the womb raider real or imagined? Can having a baby prolong a relationship? Or is it no more than a cynical attempt by a man to salvage a relationship already in jeopardy? Active! Goes behind the scenes to get the real picture
Is the womb raider real or imagined? Can having a baby prolong a relationship? Or is it no more than a cynical attempt by a man to salvage a relationship already in jeopardy? Active! Goes behind the scenes to get the real picture
There's a term for a man who manages to 'trap' a young, beautiful, famous woman by getting her knocked up: Womb Raider. Online men's magazine AskMen (.com) came up with the concept.
Their inspiration came in the form of Benjamin Millepied, Natalie Portman's fiance, who they deem the archetypal Womb Raider. So the question is, why would a man do that? Money. Status. Genetics. And "bragging rights". There's also another reason: to help prolong the relationship.
The three stages
So, does it work? Life Coach Aruna Mookhey says that in order to answer that we need to first consider the three stages of falling in love. "Lust is the first stage of love, which is driven by testosterone and oestrogen. Mating is the evolutionary purpose of this stage of love; it creates a strong physical attraction and sets the stage for emotional attachment."
Physical attraction and power struggles go into the making of the second stage. "You may lose your appetite, need less sleep, and daydream about your lover. In this stage dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin race through the body and brain," she explains.
Emotional attachment or unconditional acceptance is the third stage. "In this stage, you're aware of both the positive and negative traits in your partner, and you've decided you want to build a life together." So, getting a woman pregnant is not always a guarantee that the relationship will last; acceptance and successfully adapting to each other are better indicators of the success of a relationship.
What matters
Psychologist Anjana Chabria says, "Our ideas about love are moulded by books and movies. Reality strikes later, and the ability to deal with disillusionment is what breaks or makes a relationship."
According to Mookhey, trust and understanding are the two most important factors in a relationship. "Don't magnify the sad elements in your relationship; try to appreciate the good things your partner does. And try and not be too quick-tempered, which can lead to arguments," she says, adding, "Togetherness is also important, so one should try and do things together whether it's cooking, gardening or singing. Be a little creative; surprises every now and then can make your partner happy."
Natural progression?
According to Dr Rishma Pai, gynaecologist and infertility specialist with Jaslok Hospital, married couples are often made to feel that the next step in their relationship is having a baby. "Having a baby is a momentous, transformative event, and nothing in the couple's relationship will ever be quite the same again. Most couples grow closer after having a baby, despite the fact that it is more work than they could have imagined. Eight out of ten mothers agree that their relationship with their partner was strengthened after having a baby."
Though, there are also new challenges for the couple. "They won't be able to enjoy quality time together. Communication is key if you want your relationship to survive the new addition to the family." Heightened irritability because of sleep deprivation is another result, requiring both partners to be tolerant of each other's moods, and patient with each other.
Independent women
Financial independence is integral to a healthy relationship believe experts. "Unless she is taking care of kids and the home - a job in itself - no woman should be financially dependent on a man. Being financially independent enhances a woman's self-worth. If she depends on a man financially, she will always be at his mercy, willing to tolerate abuse or disrespectful behaviour," says Dr Pai.
Who you gonna call?
Womb Raider
A smart man who 'scores' a successful, gorgeous and rich woman by getting her pregnant. Reasons for his doing so can range from money to power and/ or genetics, according to AskMen (.com).
Sperm Jacker
A sperm jacker, according to the same website is a mid to late-30s, single, career-driven woman, who is willing to get pregnant at any cost to a guy with superior genes.
Liev Schreiber & Naomi Watts
After six blissful years and two children together, Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts seem to be an example of a happy Hollywood romance. When the Salt star was asked what he most loves about his partner, he replied: "Well, she makes beautiful children, she's very talented and she's pretty easy on the eyes."
Camila Alve & Matthew McConaughey
Matthew McConaughey met his partner, Brazilian model and television performer Camila Alves in 2006. Their great genes have been passed on to two goergeous kids, son Levi (2), and daughter Vida (1).
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
Though speculations were rife about a Hindu wedding this year, this Hollywood super-couple has no wedding plans in the air. Brad Pitt, 47, and Angelina Jolie, 35, began dating in 2005 and have since become the parents to six children, all children bearing the surname: Jolie-Pitt.
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