I am a 17-year-old boy studying for my board exams. My problem is that we keep on having guests at home who stay for weeks on end. When I question my elders they don't seem to have an answer for me
Dear Diana,
I am a 17-year-old boy studying for my board exams. My problem is that we keep on having guests at home who stay for weeks on end. When I question my elders they don't seem to have an answer for me. The guests and their kids stay endlessly and disturb me greatly. This includes aunts and cousins and extended family members. I can't concentrate and I am also supposed to entertain their kids. How do I make people at home realise that it is a crucial year for me and I need peace to study. Things are so bad now that most of the time I am not informed about their arrivals and departures because they feel I will react in front ofu00a0 them. At my friend's place, their folks go out of their way to make life comfortable for them and create an environment conducive for study. Please help me knock sense into their heads.
-u00a0Cookie
Dear Cookie,
I can well understand your predicament, my dear boy! Guests can be pests, especially when they overstay and create a nuisance. It appears that these guests are your relatives who love to park themselves at your place. There must be some members in your family who pander to them, that is the reason they land up so often. You need to talk to your parents and voice your concerns. If your grandparents are encouraging them, you have to explain the situation to them. Chances are that they will not understand and feel offended. But tell them there is a time for everything and it is affecting your studies.u00a0 You do need your space to study. So work out an arrangement that you have a room to yourself without any kids of the guests banging at the door.u00a0 Tell your folks, you will have to show the door to guests who overstay. At least for now, it is a crucial year. And best of luck for your exams.
I am ashamed of my drinking problem
Dear Diana,
I am 27 and don't drink often. But when I do, I have too much and make a public spectacle. When I am back in my senses, I feel ashamed. Also I feel embarrassed for my boyfriend. Please can you help?
-u00a0Ami
Dear Ami,
When you drink, you should know when to stop. Next time tell your boyfriend to keep a check on you and to stop you from taking yet another glass or leave the venue. What is most important, however, is self-control. You are alone to blame for the mess you create, so why get into such a situation and create a spectacle? It is better to be safe than sorry.
Will I get pregnant?
Dear Diana,
I've been married for five years and have been trying for a baby. I have been advised to go in for an IVF. I am aware that several people nowadays go for it and is quite common to have a child through this method. But I have my fears about it.
- Name withheld on request
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Dear Friend,
Your fears are justified but there is no point getting terrified. You need to consult an IVF specialist who can help you overcome your doubts. This is strictly a medical question which only your doctor can help. After assessing your case, you can be accordingly guided for treatment. It will help if you speak to the doctor about your fears at the outset. You could also talk to other couples who have gone through the treatment.