I am 21. For the past two years, I've been dating this guy belonging to a different religion. We knew each other in Std IX coaching class, but we hardly spoke
Dear Diana,
I am 21. For the past two years, I've been dating this guy belonging to a different religion. We knew each other in Std IX coaching class, but we hardly spoke. When he went abroad, we started chatting online. Six months later, heu00a0 proposed to me and I said yes. Four months later, he came back to India. We got physical. He was extremely possessive and didn't like me talking to my friends so I stopped.
He called my kid male cousins sex maniacs and insisted I don't talk to them. He always taunted me about my character as I had an ex boyfriend. This went on for the one year he was here, but I let it go as I loved him. Then he went abroad again. 
I would skimp on food and save money to make ISD calls, but he would hardly speak to me. He's been back for a month now, but every day he's made me cry. We got intimate again and I got pregnant. But when I told him, he claims it is not his child. He called me a slut and even a lesbian.
I've tried suicide four times. He takes days to reply to my texts, but if I reply even after five minutes, he claims I have been sleeping with someone else. I really feel now he doesn't love me, but I feel guilty that I gave him my virginity and fear that so I won't get another guy. What do I do?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
This guy sounds psychotic. I am not lovingu00a0 you at the moment either.u00a0 I have no respect for anyone who puts up with a such shitty treatment from a guy, "Because I love him". Learn to love yourself first. Respect yourself and others will respect you.
There is no reason to be with this guy. He doesn't trust you, he thinks you are a slut, and now he refuses to accept you are with his child. What else does he have to do before you start to hate him? He disrespects and humiliates you at every given opportunityu00a0-- a guy who loves you would never do that.
Take care of your pregnancy. Don't do anything rash. Speak to an elder in your family (parent, sibling, aunt) and he or she will guide you. Then stop all communication with this guy immediately. See the writing on the wall. He won't accept the child is his, he will never stand by or for anything.
You don't need a man like that in your life. No girl does. Please don't let any guy treat you in this manner. No guy is worth what you've gone through. Don't try to kill yourself over him, or any other person. Think of what you will put your family through. Be strong and fight. Even if this guy begs you, don't take him back into your life. Cut him loose. NOW.u00a0
Phobia is affecting my performance...
Dear Diana,
I am 25. I have not had any sexual relationships. Recently I realised I have a phobia of retracting my foreskin, even though it doesn't cause me any pain. My girlfriend once put it down without me realising it but I panicked when I saw it and lost my erection. She feels we might never be able to have a physical relationship due to this. What do I do?
RK
Dear Friend,
You need to see a therapist about your phobia. How else will you ever be sexually active? A professional will help you understand and overcome your fears. Why have you waited so long to address this problem? Make an appointment with a sexologist too, and demonstrate how you can try this yourself a few times before you have sex.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0
She took my concern the wrong way...
Dear Diana,
Last week, my girlfriend's cousins went for a movie and did not invite her. This upset her a lot so I told her it will be better if she does not go with her cousins to the movies next time.
She got angry with me and said, she will do what she wants, whether I like it or not. We fought over it. Was I wrong? I can't see her being treated unjustly, but she took it the wrong way. I love her and don't want to lose her.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You haven't done anything wrong. Your girlfriend appears to be immature. Tell her you have nothing against her cousins and only said what you did out of concern for her. Hopefully, she will understand. You have two ways to deal with this in the futureu00a0-- tell her what is on your mind (I would do that. It is important to share what you think) and risku00a0 sending her into a sulk, or avoid trouble by listening to what she has to say, and keeping your thoughts to yourself.
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