I am 18. A girl lived next door to me. We've known each other for the past five years. We were only friends till recently, but suddenly, in October 2009, strange feelings of caring developed between us. It was true love. We knew we loved each other but never said it
Dear Diana,
I am 18. A girl lived next door to me. We've known each other for the past five years. We were only friends till recently, but suddenly, in October 2009, strange feelings of caring developed between us. It was true love. We knew we loved each other but never said it.
Then two months later, we told each other. Our love was going happily for one year, till our families suddenly came to know about it.
They separated us because we belong to different religions. Her brother took her away to their relatives' house. I have been searching for her for the past two months but in vain. I truly love her and I can't forget her. How do I find her?
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Name withheld
Dear Friend,
There isn't much you can do. If you were older, and were working, I would've advised that you approach her parents and have a word with them. But at 18, they won't take you seriously. I think you should just let things be for a few years, and see if you still feel the same way about the girl.
At 18, it must feel like this is the end and life without her is incomprehensible but you might feel differently a year or a few months down the line. You can try and send a message to her through one of her friends, or write an email to her explaining that you guys should both rethink this, and if you can both fight with your families to be together.
I hate my friends!
Dear Diana,
I didn't realise Traditional Day had been postponed and went to college in a saree. Everyone made fun of me for being stupid. I don't want to go to college anymore but my parents won't listen. Help.
Rita
Dear Rita,
When your friends made fun of you, you should have pretended that you wore a saree because you felt like it. It's silly to not attend college anymore. Go. And wear a saree for a whole week. If they ask, say you feel like it. Remember, they tease you for a reaction. Don't react and they won't tease.
No to sex cause I'm paranoid about having AIDS
Dear Diana,
I am a 33-year-old married man with two children. I've done nothing to even consider myself at risk of an HIV+ infection. Yet, I got myself tested in April last year because I felt I might have been infected via a syringe. Though the result was negative, I got tested again three months later.
The test was negative. This January I got tested again. The tests were again negative, but I cannot get rid of this thought. I have refrained from having sex with my wife because of this. How do I get rid of this obsession?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You know you are obsessing about this. You can contract the AIDS virus from sex, a blood transfusion, etc. And unless you have had unprotected sex or a blood transfusion or have used drugs, you don't have reason to worry. You've already had three tests that were all negative. I don't think it gets any more conclusive than that. I think you should see a therapist if this obsession of yours continues.
And the next time you go for an AIDS test, buy your own syringe from a chemist and take it along with you, so you are sure that it is safe and your mind can be at peace. Obsessing like this will only increase the paranoia and put the peace in your marriage at risk.