I am 17 years old and have a 10-year-old brother. My mom and dad are divorced. We stay with mom but are still in touch with dad, who is in a different city

Step father believes 'spare the rod, spoil the child'

Dear Diana,
I am 17 years old and have a 10-year-old brother. My mom and dad are divorced. We stay with mom but are still in touch with dad, who is in a different city. Two years back, my mom, fed up of having to take care of us on her own, married another man. Since then, life's been hell.

Our step father doesn't care about us or our mom. He has hit both me and my brother several times, under the pretext of teaching us to behave properly. Life seems surreal sometimesu00a0-- at home, my mom is this timid mouse who does not go against her husband, whileu00a0 outside, she is known as a confident woman carving a niche for herself.

At college, people think I am this snobbish 'scholar' who has it all and don't mingle much with me. I know my mom has by now realised that stepfather married her for the posh house and hefty alimony she got from dad, but she is not doing anything about it. I can't leave because that will mean leaving my brother in this mess. What do I do?

Vinita

Dear Vinita,
First of all, make it very clear to this man that the next time he touches you or your brother, you will register a complaint with the cops. And the next time he hits you, go to the local cop station.u00a0 You are old enough to understand rules and there is no excuse for raising handu00a0 on a child. Is your mother aware that her new husband hits you both? Tell her also that next time, you will call your father and tell him.

Do you and your brother have a counsellor at school/college that you would talk to, maybe someone in the family, like an aunt, uncle, grandparents? Someone who can interfere on your behalf? Can you and your brother go and stay with your father if things don't improve? You need to chat with your dad and find out if that is an option.

As for your image in college, you have to make the effort. Initiate conversation if they are keeping away from you. Once you start talking to people, they will realise you are not snobbish. If you are a 'scholar' offer to help anyone who is weak in the class. Hope this helps.

He wants sex, I don't...

Dear Diana,
I am 19 and have been seeing this guy for a year now. He has been dropping hints that we should get intimate. I don't want to do that with anyone before I get married, but I don't know how to tell him no without angering him.

Chhaya

Dear Chhaya,
Get intimate with your guy, when you are comfortable. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with. Set your own boundaries and stay within those. Explain to your guy that you are not comfortable pushing boundaries and ask that he respect that, if he truly loves you.

Does she love me or not?

Dear Diana,
I am 17. I've been with this girl for six months. I first met her when she had come to my city during her holidays. In the beginning, I didn't pay much heed to her but she wanted to be friends, so we got talking. When she returned to her home in another city, she would call me everyday and say she missed me and wanted to be with me.

I fell for her and proposed to her, to which she replied in the positive. But for the past few weeks, she has started behaving oddly. Sometimes, she doesn't reply to my texts or answer my calls. Should I continue with this relationship or play it safe and call it quits?

Ashish

Dear Ashish,
You say you 'didn't pay much heed to her' but after she started calling, you 'fell for her.' That's not love. You were just flattered that she was smitten and you asked her to be your girlfriend, which she agreed to be. Now you want to know if you should continue this 'relationship.'

The way I see it, she came to the city, liked you and wanted to know you better. She was thrilled when you felt the same way about her. She was in a new city and she got carried away by her feelings.

Back home, that feeling lingered for a few days, but now it seems to be the case of out of sight, out of mind. So she's not responding to your calls and texts. This was never going to last. Enjoy it for what it was, and forget her. If she wants to keep in touch, she will. Don't go chasing her.u00a0u00a0