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Why isn't Mr Nice Guy taking it to next level?

Updated on: 01 March,2011 08:23 AM IST  | 
Diana |

I'm 26 and single. There's a colleague I really like. He lives alone very close to our workplace. I have given subtle hints that I'm fond of him

Why isn't Mr Nice Guy taking it to next level?

Dear Diana,
I'm 26 and single. There's a colleague I really like. He lives alone very close to our workplace. I have given subtle hints that I'm fond of him. But he doesn't verbally express any feelings, if he has any. He doesn't ignore me outright, in fact he's really sweet to me.

He's invited me to his place for dinner and drinks a couple of times, and dropped me back home after dinner, though I live quite far. He is not dating anyone else, he's told me. No other girl (except me) visits his place. He's not a party animal either, a very homely and sincere guy.

Me being the girl, I'm not taking it forward, but why is he not taking it to the next level? Is it that he's not interested in me? Or bus that he's also taking it easy like me?

ABC

Dear Friend,

The good news is: He has you over to the house, so you are kind of special, given that he doesn't call over other girls. He drops you home, so that means he cares for you. He's not dating, so that's a plus too. So what i can make from this situation is tht he is taking it slow.

He enjoying your company right now, and getting to know you. The only other possibility is that he probably likes you just as a friend. That he feels comfortable in your company, but doesn't think you are girlfriend material. But I am inclined to think that might not be true as he wouldn't spend so much time with you. Play along. You will find out in a few weeks/ months.u00a0u00a0

Will be friends but won't date

Dear Diana,
How do you become friends with a girl and not make it seem that you wanna date and just be friends? How can you find that balance, and how to ask them to hang out without seeming like you are interested?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Make it amply clear right at the beginning that that you aren't looking for a relationship. Any girl you ask out for a movie or meal will assume you are interested, so that you can't avoid. Maybe you should just stick to hanging out with friends in a large group.u00a0u00a0u00a0

I feel left out of the loop

Dear Diana,
It's my boyfriend's birthday today. We've been together for 16 months. I gave him an expensive watch and spent time with him yesterday. Today his parents took him and his sister to a restaurant to celebrate. I thought it was just a family thing so I said nothing about not being included.

I found out that his sister's boyfriend was present. His mom didn't invite me as she does not really like me, even though all I am is nice to her. She's invited me to other gatherings like her birthday and my beau's dad's birthday. Now I feel a littleu00a0 out of the loop. I wouldn't have felt this way if his sister's boyfriend wasn't invited. Am I wrong?

UJ

Dear UJ,
If his mother didn't want you at her house, she wouldn't have invited you to her birthday and her husband's birthday. Have you considered the possibility that your beau's sister just brought her boyfriend along without asking? His parents probably wouldn't have wanted to boot him out once he had already showed up. I think that his mom might've wanted it to be a strictly a family time.

And once you are a in a relationship you have to learn to share each other with the family as well, so that they dont feel left out. So maybe you guys can bring in the special days together, and reserve the next day for the family. I don't think his mom meant to be rude.u00a0 Don't make a big deal about this.




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