Valentine’s Day 2023: An expert guide to spotting green flags

Navigating dating in todayrsquos world is complicated to say the least Whether it is an abundance of options on dating applications demanding jobs logistics or mental health the factors impacting our dating lives are far too many As if that wasnrsquot enough dating malpractices such as gaslighting and ghosting are also becoming increasingly commonplaceldquoI have a tendency to be overtly forgiving according to my friends which translates to bad decision making in my dating life My ex used to not be consistent in their affection lacked the ability to communicate and disappeared at the first appearance of conflict but things moved swiftly In hindsight I know I shouldnrsquot have ignored the multiple warning signs which were there from the startrdquo says 29yearold Komal Oberoi of her dating misadventuresWersquove all been where Oberoi found herself it can be exhausting to figure out whether someone is worth your time and energy especially if yoursquove just met Identifying red flags is more difficult than it seems according to Yesha Mehta therapist at The Mood Space She explains Often in the beginning of romantic relationships everything may feel hunky dory filled with rushes of excitement in turn leading partners to miss out on potential red flags that may show up later in the relationship Additionally in the initial phase we tend to look at our partner with rosecoloured glasses impacting our perception of them and making us look past any red flags they may be displaying With new relationships even when these relationships start casually there may be an emotional bond that settles itself into the relationship over time And with this not taking red flags into account may lead to an emotional turmoilrdquoOnce we know what to watch out for we can seek what to look out for While those looking to date must stay wary of red flags they must also keep an eye out for green ldquoGreen flags are positive indicators in a relationship that something is going right and its something one has to make a conscious effort to notice They get a lot less attention hence it is something we must actively notice as green flags help us understand what healthy and safe relationships look like When things are going well it is easy to take your partner for granted Making a conscious effort in noticing and acknowledging the green flags will make you feel happier and more content in the relationship It also helps us break from the cycle of only seeking out what is not working in the relationshipDr Chandni Tugnait life coach and relationship expert at Tinder shares ldquoHave you ever been on a date and thought to yourself how great your date is only to find out later that theyre not quite so great after all It is human to want to know if the connection is genuine and if who you are seeing is truly a good match Everyone deserves someone who will love and respect you for all of your unique qualities Luckily there are some telltale signs or green flags that can give you a read on where things are headedrdquoIf youre looking for a sign that theyrsquore the one Tugnait shares top 7 green flags to look out forThey make an effort to get to know youThey want to get to know you and your personality They put in the effort to understand you your likes and dislikes If your datepartner is making an effort to get to know you ndash asking questions about your life your family your interests etcYou feel comfortable being your true self around your dateWhether its being open about their likes and dislikes preferring PJrsquos over smart jokes or even just being able to sit silently in each otherrsquos company young Indian adults appreciate it when their match makes them feel comfortable being their true authentic selfThey make you a priorityOne of the most important things in any relationship is feeling like youre a priority to the other person If the person youre dating is always busy or always has excuses for why they cant see you thats a red flag One of the most important things in life is to make sure youre giving and receiving full attention and care when dating In fact the biggest green flag is when their partner makes their feelings clear about them You are worth itTheyre interested in your opinionThey want to know everything about you and also share about themselves They ask for your opinion when deciding something such as the datersquos venue or just touch base to make sure that everything is chill for both parties whenever they make any plans This is an excellent sign of consideration and respect which makes one want to give their partner the same consideration that they receive leading to a healthy partnership over timeThey respect and discuss boundariesRespecting boundaries is key in any healthy relationship romantic or otherwise If your partner respects your boundaries its a sign that they respect you as an individual Some green flag friendly phrases around boundaries include ldquoWhat works for yourdquo ldquoDoes this make you comfortablerdquo and ldquoIs it ok if I do thisrdquo Another green flag is when your partner explicitly discusses boundaries which helps you not only understand what they need but also clearly communicate your own boundaries to them as wellThey are vulnerable in front of youThey let their guard down when theyre around you and make an effort to allow you into their personal space not just physically but emotionally too Being vulnerable is one of the strongest things a person can be Itrsquos powerful because it not only opens up the possibility of being rejected for your true self but also for being deeply understood and loved for your true selfVerified profiles in case of online datingWhen it comes to online dating there are some green flags to look out for when searching for the perfect match to ensure your crush is in fact a legit person A verified profile helps with the satisfaction of knowing your match is legit giving you the mental peace to get to know them and see where the vibe goesRead More Dry dating Heres why more people want to go on sober dates in 2023