Not a pro at flirting? These tips will help you get started

Gone are the days when you sit by the window plucking the rose petals and doing the lsquotheylovemetheylovemenotrsquo trick The process of finding out if your crush likes you or not can be consuming Further the mixed signals donrsquot make the suffering any easier Flirting for one can be a way of finding out whether someone is into you or notIt is a social behaviour that involves playful gestures compliments and body language aimed at expressing romantic or playful interest in someone It might not always indicate someonersquos serious interest towards you but it can give you a lead on finding moreYou might think it is easier said than done You are right For some of us flirting can be a nightmare Romance movies make flirting look like a piece of cake but letrsquos face it it is hardRuchi Ruuh therapywithruchi a relationship counsellor shares ldquoLack of confidence or low selfesteem often come in the way of people even trying their hands at flirting People who fear flirting or find it hard might doubt their appeal or worry about how theyll be perceivedrdquoldquoA lot of people also fear getting misjudged or misinterpreted in this playfulness and might fear crossing other persons boundaries Some people dont want to give wrong signals or cause unintentional discomfort Not everyone is natural at these lighthearted conversations and sometimes this is a result of past experiences which could have been negativerdquo she saysAlthough flirting can be challenging Dr Mickey Mehta mickey_mehta holistic health expert says ldquoFlirting can be a healthy way of seeking attention attracting people to spend time with you impressing them charming their hearts and seeking companionship This partnership developed after flirting takes you on a different high and builds a bond that lays a strong foundation for a relationshiprdquoAdding to this Hitesh Chakraworty relationship expert and coach says ldquoFlirting establishes a connection breaks the ice and builds attraction It creates a lighthearted atmosphere that can lead to deeper emotional connections making it a crucial step towards datingrdquoWith Valentines Day 2024 just around the corner Midday Online knocked on the doors of these love gurus to seek tips for all the love sicks who have been trying to flirt and charm their special someoneGet startedFlirting besides using words also involves nonverbal cues and signals It enhances communication beyond words helping create a shared understanding and connection between potential partnersFor some people it can be a confidence booster as they might feel good about themselves for attracting a person or receiving compliments back ldquoFlirting sets a playful tone in the relationship where both individuals develop a special language for each other making each interaction playful and memorable Flirting romantically can create excitement and anticipation for whats to come in the relationship These cues are important to gauge the compatibility of a partner concerning how the relationship is going to berdquo says RuuhAccording to Chakraworty flirting can include playful teasing smiling complimenting considering gentle touching of the arm making eye contact or causal banterMehta says ldquoGenuine compliments about their appearance personality or achievements can be a great start It makes the other person feel valued and appreciatedrdquoHere are some tips by Ruuh you can try1 Compliments Complimenting someone for their looks behaviour or gestures can be a good start Compliments are great and we all love feeling good about ourselves Start by picking out one quality that you genuinely like about them Say something nice like This is a beautiful colour you are wearing or I love your voice2 Give a warm smile A genuine warm smile can change the tension between two people sitting across the room This nonverbal cue is nonthreatening and can give a signal of further conversation3 Mirroring If you are already in conversation with them you will find yourself mirroring their words mannerisms and gestures One can do this intentionally too to show solidarity and interest4 Humour Share a funny or witty remark to create a lighthearted atmosphere Humour is a great way to connect For example Do you have a map Because I keep getting lost in your eyes ndash cheesy right5 Curiosity Express genuine curiosity by asking them interesting questions Show them that you are interested in getting to know them For example if you are flirting online ask them to share their views or thoughts on something about yourself or anything you might be discussing with them You can also ask them questions about their life likes dislikes and interests6 Engage in light touch A subtle touch on the arm during a conversation can convey warmth and interest Keep it brief and do not repeat it if they are uncomfortable7 Flirtatious jokes Share lighthearted flirtatious jokes to create a playful vibe Always be sure to use these correctly and stop if you think they dont like itWhen choosing nonverbal flirting Ruuh says ldquoIt can be in the form of a slight touch of arm or holding hands Reducing the proximity between you both as the comfort increases can be a sign of flirting Maintaining eye contact or a warm smile on your face while you talk can be a great example The right time to make any of these moves can only be known by how comfortable they are feeling around you through their words and body language so pay close attentionrdquoSigns of reciprocationRecognising if someone is welcoming your flirting involves paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues Mehta says ldquoLook for signs of engagement such as sustained eye contact smiling and active participation in the conversation When the person smiles listens laughs responds comments plays along and asks you questions to keep the conversation going theyre likely comfortable and enjoying the interaction Then you must know that yes its workingrdquoldquoPositive body language like facing towards you leaning in or subtle touches can indicate interest Additionally being responsive to your messages or initiating contact themselves suggests a level of comfortrdquo he addsReading these signs of reciprocation is important as flirting can go wrong in various ways ldquoOverly aggressive advances or insensitive comments risk making the other person uncomfortable while ignoring personal space boundaries can be unsettling Excessive compliments can show ingenuity Moving too fast or disregarding the other persons boundaries both physical and emotional are significant missteps that can lead to discomfortrdquo warns Ruuh Similarly Chakraworty lists actions that can lead things downhill1 Coming on too strong2 Using inappropriate or offensive language3 Ignoring personal boundaries4 Overusing pickup lines5 Being insincere or fakeHe also urges individuals to avoid making statements like1 Are you tired Because youve been running through my mind all day2 Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again3 Are you a magician Because whenever I look at you everyone else disappears and other similar statementsAccording to Mehta ldquoFlirting can go wrong when it lacks sincerity crosses personal boundaries or becomes overly aggressive Failing to respect their autonomy and personal space can create discomfort and push them awayrdquoHe shares a long list of things one must not do in the name of flirting1 Commenting on their appearance and dressing sense and using words like sexy and hot can be offputting Not everybody appreciates that kind of approach Further never stare at them as this can cause them to feel conscious and uncomfortable2 Avoid inappropriate humour bragging excessively and discussing past relationships too early Never criticize Dont get into controversial discussions3 Pushing boundaries without reading cues may also have an undesirable result4 Lack of respect for the other persons feelings or repeatedly ignoring their signals can be offputting5 Being too selfcentred without showing genuine interest in the other persons thoughts or feelings can hinder connectionIts crucial to navigate flirting with awareness respect and adaptability Its crucial to find a balance be mindful of the other persons comfort level and avoid behaviours that might be perceived as insincere or manipulative ensuring a respectful and enjoyable interactionFlirting for couplesFor couples who have been dating or married for too long it is natural for monotony to settle in According to Ruuh flirting keeps the romantic spark alive by infusing playfulness and excitement into the relationship preventing it from becoming mundaneldquoOne can easily show their affection and ongoing interest in their partner by flirting with them This enhances the emotional bond in the relationship Sweet compliments can tell your partner that they are seen and heard It lifts your partners selfesteem and makes them feel good It boosts intimacy in the relationship and keeps it playful and funrdquoSimilarly Mehta says ldquoBy sustaining the spirit of flirtation couples can continually nurture their connection ensuring a dynamic and fulfilling partnership Flirting outside of bedrooms increases romance in closed roomsrdquoFlirting in couples can reduce stress and stressful situations by creating a positive atmosphere Continual flirting helps renew and reinforce the attraction between partners reminding them of the qualities that drew them together initiallyOne must remember that flirting is most successful when it feels natural and genuine