You don't have to suffer the sickening sweetness of Valentine's Day anymore. Anjana Vaswani brings you an online shopping guide to help you display your disdain
You don't have to suffer the sickening sweetness of Valentine's Day anymore. Anjana Vaswani brings you an online shopping guide to help you display your disdain
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Spot posters advertising the upcoming Bryan Adams' concert and you'll instantly recall how the song, Everything I do, I do it for you... plucked at the heart strings back in 1991.
Back then, it dominated UK charts for 16 straight weeks, and the following year, Whitney Houston's,u00a0 I will always love you, spent 10 weeks at the top of the charts.
Love (and, apparently, Kevin Costner) was clearly very popular back in the 90s, but take a look at the charts now, and what do you see?
Eminem and Rihanna screaming about how much they love the way their respective partners lie, Avril Lavigne asserting that love hurts whether it's right or wrong and that all she wants to do is mess around. And hottie, Enrique Iglesias, politely asks you to excuse him for his rudeness while he candidly informs you, Tonight I'm f****** you.
It's no secret. Love's outmoded! And now, you can shop online to spread the word.
Bittersweet candy
Here's a novel change from the usual gifts of chocolates and candy. Sweets that are anything but! These little sugar-bombs come in tiny boxes, and you can pick from Dysfunctional, Dejected or Dumped, depending on what title best suits your situation.
Price: $9.95 per box (approximately Rs 453.77)
Available at: www.despair.com/bittersweets.html
Deadly kiss button
So what if you are all alone this Valentine's? At least you are not exposed to germs transmitted by snogging. Put this 2.25 inch metal button on so everyone knows you are germ-free and no one stops to ask you how you are spending the 'special' day.
Price: (approximately Rs 182.45)
Available at: https://www.peacockcards.com
Valentini Coasters
Designed by Pink Ink Art T-shirts and Gifts, these coasters help you appreciate what you have...Freedom! Rejoice...sit back...make yourself a drink. Because life comes with no guarantees and no matter how much you pray, some day, when you least expect it, you just may get hitched.
Price: $10 (approximately Rs 456.14)
Available at: shop.cafepress.com/anti-valentines-day?page=2
Looking for love... thermos
You don't have to be an animal lover to know that if you are looking for love and loyalty these days, your best bet's a pet shop. Slide your
12 oz can of beer into this double-wall-insulated cooler to keep it chilled, while the reminder of your adorable puppy's genuine devotion to you warms your heart.
Price: $17.00 (approximately Rs 774.56)
Available at: www.cafepress.com/+anti-valentines-day-humor+thermos
How I Met Your Mother tee
This pre-shrunk 100% cotton tee is perfect for fans of the TV show as well as for those who generally subscribe to Barney's assorted debauched doctrines. According to the Lemon Law, within the first five minutes of a date, you decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of the evening with that person. If it seems like a lost cause, this law provides a literal exit-clause for the aggrieved...no hard feelings.
Price: $23 (approximately Rs 1,048.13)
Available at: www.cafepress.com/+tshirt
Sweet Memories
One way to ensure you remain unattached is to keep the memory of your ex alive forever. Raffaele Iannello's ex-knife-holder is a healthy way to do this. Available in red, black and chrome, this set of 5 high-quality knives (8" Chef Knife, 8" Bread Knife, 8" Carver, 5" Utility Knife, 3.5" Parer) comes with a 25-year guarantee, which means it's both practical and long-lasting. When did you last have a relationship that met that description?
Price: $69.99 (approximately Rs 3192.34)
Available at: www.thinkgeek.com
Take-the-hint lingerie
"Don't think so," is what your partner may have to get used to hearing if he is just not doing enough to keep the passion alive. Here's a way to send the message across subtly.
For: Ladies' thongs: (approximately Rs 592.42), boxer shorts: (approximately Rs 820.65)
Available at:
Thongs: www.groovynet.net
boxer shorts: www.cafepress.com
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