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Keeping the faith

Updated on: 10 January,2010 09:36 AM IST  | 
Mauli-Mili-Jigar, Bollywood News Service |

Are men monogamous? Does the film industry believe in fidelity? Celebrities discuss marriage and the politics of adultery

Keeping the faith

Are men monogamous? Does the film industry believe in fidelity? Celebrities discuss marriage and the politics of adultery

What keeps a couple from straying? Sunday MiD DAY got celebrities to open up on what goes on behind the scenes in famous relationships and who gives in to cheating first.






Ranbir Kapoor
Disagree. Honestly, I don't believe that one out of every 20 married men cheats. If you are with someone, you have to be responsible, you have to create security, build trust. But yes, sometimes, relationships don't work. People are in a vulnerable situation where they meet someone for whom they have an attraction and the affair just happens.

Neil Mukesh
Disagree. One out of 20 men cheat? Really? That's a scary percentage. The 20 people I know are very loyal, they have never cheated on their wives. Infidelity is prevalent, but the (projected) percentage looks scary.

Archana Puran Singh
Disagree. It is much higher than one out of 20! Men are just programmed differently vis-a-vis women. I know this is true from my experience. A large number of men can't be cheating unless they are programmed differently. A dog behaves in a particular way because it's a dog and not a pig.

Anu Menon aka Lola Kutty
Disagree. I'm no expert on infidelity percentages but one in 20 is high. I salute those men. They must be very wealthy to be able to support two women, not to mention how fatigued they would be with all the lying and the 'I have to work late' excuses.

Tanaaz Irani
Agree. It has to be a good percentage, yeah. I think fidelity is a challenge. You have to be man enough to be faithful to your wife. It is easy for people to cheat and for a man to be taken in by a woman. But if you are strong enough and believe in yourself, then be faithful.

Prahlad Kakkad
Can't say. This research, like any other, must be allowed a 90 percent margin of error. Every man thinks about cheating on his wife. I believe that infidelity in the mind is no different from infidelity in the physical sense. Most women have come to understand that there are two kind of infidelity -- casual and serious.

Neha Dhupia
Disagree. The ratio would probably be one out of every 15 or one out of 10

Is infidelity more common in the film industry as compared to the rest of the world? Yes/No?

Ranbir Kapoor

No. I have never cheated in any of my relationships; I'll never do so either.

Neil Mukesh
No. In Bollywood, it would be one out of 100. The only problem is that one is talked about so much that the perception is 'Oh my God, it does exist in this industry.' If a man working outside the film industry is cheating on his wife, nobody, besides his family and colleagues, talks about it. But since stars are public figures, it becomes national news.

Archana Puran Singh
No. Infidelity is less prevalent in the film industry vis-a-vis society. The media has always focused on the film industry. Now that the media is exposing the rest of world too, we are aware that infidelity is prevalent in all sections of society. It's a really unfair scrutiny. Men are the same everywhere.

Anu Menon aka Lola Kutty
Who knows? Outdoor shoots pe 'thand lagti hai' is the reasoning I've heard (laughs). If you're over 18, you can do exactly what you want. Who is to judge what happens between two consenting adults?

Tanaaz Irani
Yes. You will get me into solid trouble with this question. In our film and television industries, people are not so faithful. There is a lot of proximity between the hero and heroine and at times, the lines between the real person and the reel person get blurred. So it is important to be grounded.

Prahlad Kakkad
No. There is as much infidelity in the film industry as there is in the world at large. The industry is under constant media glare -- even if there is a gesture that smacks of infidelity, it gets blown out of proportion. The problem is that everybody thinks that everybody in the industry sleeps with everybody

Neha Dhupia
Yes. It depends on who you are as a person and not what you do. But yes, there is lot of accessibility, opportunity and the presence of some very attractive people; so that can be a big disadvantage for fidelity.

Bandar kitna bhi boodha ho jaaye gulati marna nahin chhodta. Agree/Disagree?

Ranbir Kapoor

Can't say. I can't pinpoint whether men cheat more or women. It is not a sexist thing; anyone can cheat

Neil Mukesh
Disagree. If people compare themselves to monkeys then what's the difference between a man and monkey. I would say in today's times, it's equal for both genders.

Archana Puran Singh
Agree. Bandar kitne cute hote hain na? (laughs) Unki gulatiyon ki vajah se to woh cute lagte haan, varna unko kaun tolerate karega?

Anu Menon aka Lola Kutty
Agree. A 50-year-old bachelor is still an eligible catch; but sadly the same can't be said of his female equivalent (sighs). As long as there is beauty around, age will never get in the way of ogling. But then, if men are cheating, obviously women are also involved. So the ratio is pretty much equal

Tanaaz Irani
Agree. The whole business of men preferring younger women to older wives is because men are slightly more casual about sex then women. But creative people need not indulge in infidelity because I believe fantasising can save more marriages than counselling

Prahlad Kakkad
Agree. The whole business of men preferring younger women to older wives is because men are slightly more casual about sex then women. But creative people need not indulge in infidelity because I believe fantasizing can save more marriages than counselling.

Neha Dhupia
Agree. It's stimulation at different levels. Initially, it's all physical and later it can be mental, but it's something that one needs all the time. Yes, men cheat more than women. I have more girls than guys come up to me and tell me, 'Oh my boyfriend cheated on me.'

Is monogamy a natural state of being? Yes/No?

Ranbir Kapoor
Yes. For me, relationships should be monogamous. If you are in love with someone, you will not cheat. Those who cheat are not in love with their partner and are there in their relationships only for a sense of security. I totally disapprove of it.

Neil Mukesh
Yes. Monogamy is a beautiful thing. Everyone deserves one life partner. But if you are unhappy in a marriage, it's best to separate. I see myself being faithful to my partner all my life

Archana Puran Singh
No. Monogamy is imposed by society. Our primal nature gets the better of us therefore a high number of men stray. Men are sometimes forced to be monogamous. It is easier for women to be monogamous because we are made differently.

It's not that we don't have sexual needs, but the moment we get into a relationship, our thoughts immediately turn to getting a steady partner, having children and nurturing them

Anu Menon aka Lola Kutty
Yes. Monogamy works well for me. I am faithful. And the aim is to stay that way. Go ahead and window-shop as long as you are not buying. Marriage is a great institution, but think long and hard before you want to be institutionalised.

Tanaaz Irani
Can't say. If a man cheats, a woman's mental stability goes for a toss. If she is financially dependent on the man, she will be ruined. So, I feel, every man must stick to one woman because it is not just a question of sex at the end of the day.

Prahlad Kakkad
No. Monogamy is imposed by society. Today women are given as much opportunity to stray as men. Men do not believe that their women can cheat on them because of their egos.

Neha Dhupia
No. Monogamy is enforced upon us by our society. If you tell anyone that you are not supposed to do this, that's the first thing we want to do. We are curious. However, honesty is something you owe to your partner. I can be faithful to my partner.

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