Celebrity, the latest joint at Andheri, has a bloomer of a menu card, though the food somewhat makes up for it

The spanking new cafe-esque joint that's sprung up in Amboli is done up in red and white not appetising colours for any eatery and the seating reminds us a little of a classroom.

There's also a mezzanine floor with a sheesha set-up. What they don't have is a good ventilation system. The air reeks of masala, biryani and sheesha.

The staff was extremely eager, which was sweet. But when a server handed us the menus, we started giggling.
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And didn't stop till the meal ended. Get this: they had a Seazer Salad, that's an easy one to crack as are the Corn Sathe, Auster Sauce, Penny Pasta and Sphagetti Oily Oliyo. But what had us rolling with laughter was the Spetho Chinny.

No, seriously. After that we were too terrified to find out what the Om Pasta Salad was supposed to be. Mirth aside, the menu was a mix of Chinese, Italian and Indian, though suited more to the non-vegetarian palate.

We call for a Peking Chicken, Veg Pasta Salad and the Corn Sathe. Soon, the Peking Chicken arrives. We polish off the dish in no time. It was sweet and tangy with a bit of spice, but a wee bit oily. A perfect starter, very Chinese-stall kind of food, not that that's a bad thing.

So they spell poorly, but probably cook well? Not quite. The Veg Pasta Salad had ribbon pasta that tasted like rubber tossed in iceberg lettuce and other veggies, though the white mayo and whole peppercorn dressing was yummy. Another chance, we decided.

The Corn Sathe ruined it. It was a dish of triangular corn bondas skewered through very suspicious looking strips of wood.

And instead of peanut chilli, there was a bowl of sharp red ketchup served in the centre of the plate. For the mains,we went with what the staff recommended: Penne Paprica Pasta, Veg Biryani and Chicken Margerita Pizza.

The Penne Paprica was passable. Tubes of pasta sat in a bed of white-red sauce, flecked with red chillies, broccoli and mushrooms. The Veg Biryani looked appealing in its white, saffron and green glory, but while the rice was cooked to perfection, it lacked salt and didn't burst with whole spices, like it ought to.

The Chicken Margerita had us laughing again. The solemn server brought it on a white plate adorned with a scooped-out green capsicum, with a scooped-out tomato sitting on it.

Inside both these cups, a candle flickered, eerily. The pizza itself wasn't bad, but we could have fashioned it at home ourselves, with Amul Cheese.

Celebrity has a super location, their staff needs no lessons in service, but the menu and the food are rather amateur. As we walk out, we have a sudden realisation. "The Spetho Chinny must be Fettuccine!" All right then.

At 5A, Mayfair Meridian, Amboli,
Andheri (West). Call 9820678348.
Celebrity didn't know we were there.
THE GUIDE reviews anonymously and pays for its meals.

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