Pardon my French

The owner of one of Bandra's cosiest eateries, Biona, calls his place a French bistro and a world cafe in the same sentence. All you need to concern yourself with are its tasty eats at happy prices

Panch hazaar ka pachaas mein; Gucci, Fendi aur Versace," shouts a Hill Road vendor in a singsong fashion. Two glances at the rexine imitation of last year's fashion week design and we miss our stop. Biona is not a snooty French madmoiselle. It's a warmly-lit cafe that offers cosy (and budgeted) refuge to college students and tight-on-cash couples.

The Shawarma comes in Mini, Regular and Jumbo sizes.

For alumni of neighbouring St Andrew's College, owner Tanveer Abdi would be a familiar face. Before starting Biona,u00a0 the BCom graduate spent 11 years managing Hot Breads, a snack shack that occupied a corner at Yoko Sizzlers. Then, in 2008, he bought the shack and renamed it Biona. Abdi calls his standalone eatery a world cafe.

"People don't know the difference between a baguette and a brun," smiles Abdi, who admits to having cut down on the menu but will willingly knead some exotic dough if you give him prior notice. "Chocolate will sell more around Valentine's Day," is the expert's second observation, as we dig into a Mud Cake with a plastic spoon that punctures the molten centre dramatically.

"We have 20 kinds of pastries, but most people will still order the chocolate," he says. One thing you can count on with college studentsu00a0-- they are always hungry, and forever broke. "Good quality brings the customer in but cost is crucial for them to come back for seconds." Biona offers a special package offer at Rs 99 only. The value meals let you choose from a burger, sandwich, hot dog or Shawarma, plusu00a0 one beverage and pastry.

The service is prompt and you can take your time while working on a class assignment or on a good imitation of your least favourite professor. But don't expect frills. Coffee (Rs 40) and Lemon Ice Tea (Rs 50) are served in thermocol cups, and your Quiche (veg and chicken pepper) arrives in a wobbly thermocol plate. Shawarma is the hot selling item here, and comes in three sizes: Mini (Rs 60), Regular (Rs 80) and Jumbo (Rs 100).

How does Shawarma fit into a French restaurant?u00a0 "I'm not too sure either, but ours is a secret recipe that gives the Arabic wrap an Indian makeover. Authentic Shawarma is too dry, not suited for the Indian palate," says Abdi with a sheepish smile. French or not; one bite and you couldn't care less. The Shawarma brings a soft pita bread wrap spilling with spiced chicken, and is made on a skewer at the front end of the shop.

But Abdi's first love is baking, and although he admits that a sweltering kitchen isn't a fair price to pay for fresh Apple Pie, he waits for weekends to lay out a special dose of confectionaries. "My bakers come in at 5 am, so everything is fresh." We tried the Fruit Fantasy that made for a pretty sight and a wholesome bite.

While most fruit-based pastries tease you with fruit toppings, this slice came with thin servings of fruit hidden in every morsel between layers of cake. And of course, all of it pleasantly drowned in chocolate syrup.u00a0You'll have to wait for Christmas to enjoy a pound of Plum Cake that Abdi soaks for two whole months. But expect some Marzipan and Easter eggs this weekend.