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The anti-critic

Updated on: 01 March,2009 07:04 AM IST  | 
Sorabh Pant |

Sunday MiD DAY's Anti-Critic Sorabh Pant wonders about the connection between coffee and bad music

The anti-critic

Sunday MiD DAY's Anti-Critic Sorabh Pant wonders about the connection between coffee and bad music

The More Electrical Philips

Rating: 1 Peaberry out of 1 Peaberry
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This Philips may not deal in electronics but their coffee is electrical. I can't even pretend to be nostalgic about this pre-Independence coffee supplier, for I discovered it three weeks ago.

But, because, I love coffee and anyone who gives me good coffee, I love Philips. There I said it. I am not talking factory doctored in a coffee shop coffee. I mean good old Indian coffee. And, this place is it.
Reasonably priced at Rs 28/ 100 grams, The Peaberry and Monsoon Malabar still sell like hot cakes. I even found a gang from Bahrain stocking up kilos of the stuff. Good enough for the sheikhs, it is good enough for Mumbaikar, no?

Why don't we have more Indian coffees at our Indian coffee houses? I could riot for this, but that would probably be because I am hopped up on caffeine. Though I wouldn't riot at Basilico, Brio and Mocha who provide these steaming cuppas in joyful abundance. Thanks guys, I love your daughters.


Mumbai's Coffee Plunger Deficit
Rating: Cof out of Coffee
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You can't have Philips coffee without a French press. I mean you can, but what is man without style (i.e. Me?).
Our coffee outlets sell the most awful coffee plungers but I want real, raised by wolves, coffee plungers. If you do sell them, give me one free and I shall mention you in next week's column.


Coffee Shop Music
Rating: 1/2 C out of CCD

Every Barista/ CCD waiter is convinced that he is a DJ in a Jalandhar wedding, with one dancer: himself. You may be solving the financial deficit for the World Bank, but, DJ Rajesh at the counter doesn't care. You've paid for the right to have a cup of coffee, but if he does not listen to frigging Enrique remixed by Bhangra Boys at full blast 11 times in a row, his soul will evaporate into a coffee mist.

CCD specifically offers this DJ-cappuccino combo. With every cappuccino, you get a bucket of broken concentration and a ruptured eardrum free. Try writing Dev D's sequel in that ruckus.

Ask them to reduce the volume, and they look at you like Raza Murad looks at the cops when they catch him raping someone in a Hindi movie. The "Iu00a0 thought we were all having fun" look. The volume shall go down just minimally enough so you can't complain again. Then Pappu and his friends behind the counter will still dance saala.u00a0

To reiterate, this is a coffee shop, it's not a disco. If you need something to get you energised have a bl**dy cup of coffee you dumba&^. It is right next to you, it cannot be that hard to reach, and we can all for once actually focus on the taste of your coffee, you Enrique-loving piece of coffee dreg.
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