Not such a happy song

Not more than one out of fifty young children can sing well.

Not such a happy song

Not more than one out of fifty young children can sing well.

The rest sing like, well, children. Parents must set emotions aside and understand that as cute as it is to hear their own kids mangle some popular tunes, it's no fun for others who are unfortunate to be in the vicinity.

I was at this restaurant that had nice ambience, a 'live' band playing and the food was fine; people were having a good time. The band was playing some soft tunes.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the singer's dulcet tones were replaced by a child rendering happy birthday for someone. At the end of the song, mad applause erupted from only one table; the rest of us were just glad that the kid had stopped singing. Annoying he was, but bearable.

Now, either that kid was unnecessarily encouraged by the applause or his parents decided that he should showcase his talents some more.

Either way, he was soon belting out nursery rhymes in a way that sounded like he had a bad throat and was crying because he needed to go to the bathroom at the same time.

u00a0Not to be outdone, a little girl from the same table, who looked quite angelic with her mouth shut, sounded like the spawn of Satan when someone decided it was her turn at the mike. Either she inherited a loud, crackling voice from her parents or she was born with more than her fair share of testosterone.

If that's true, her actual talent must lie somewhere on the sports field. Maybe she could win us an Olympic medal or two at weightlifting, but the only way she'll get a Grammy is if someone throws it at her in an attempt to shut her up.

Violent thoughts went through my head about how to handle the situation, but all I could do was make faces. After contemplation, I decided that the next time this happens, I'll use the steak knife to quietly cut the damn mike wire.

Efficient, yet nobody gets hurt, especially me.